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why cant we be honest?

if theres one thing im not its a liar to myself. i lie to everyone else but not myself. i will be the first person to admit that i am a horrible mother and i had no business having sex let alone making a baby! but i did the noble thing and kept him. it IS hard. some days i want to run away, but i dont. but for people to say that people like me who admit that they dont have all the answers or even know the questions should 'have their uterus's ripped out' is a bit much dont you think? my son was a 'mistake,' but i dont regret having him. i do regret not being careful. and if that makes me a bad person, then so be it.

 
aliciatron

Asked by aliciatron at 2:21 PM on Apr. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 2 (6 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Whoever said that to you obviously has issues of her own. To me, that is disgusting for her to say. PLEASE do NOT listen to people like that. Stay as far away from her (or anyone like her) as possible! But, first, tell her that when she is perfect (which will never happen, because no one is perfect), then she can come back and give you advice. Tell her, until then, she's invisible to you.

    Everyone makes mistakes, and if this other woman doesn't believe that, then she's living in a fantasy world.

    Wishing you the best of everything always.
    Ginny19

    Answer by Ginny19 at 5:03 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • If anything I see you as a good person. You didn't take your own child's life..instead you welcomed him into the world and loved him. It doesn't matter how he came about, just that he is here and he is loved.

    Life never plans out perfectly - that is the BEAUTY of life in my opinion...and you got a beautiful boy.

    Ignore those who want to bash on things they don't understand. You do not need the negativity in your life.
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 3:21 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • You're a horrible mother?
    EiEiO

    Answer by EiEiO at 3:22 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • clapping


    I can't say that I understand your situation, or claim sympathize your feelings, but I truely applaud you for not kidding yourself.  You aren't pretending that this is what you wanted for yourself.  All three of my children were "surprises"!  While I love them with all of my heart, and am so very glad to have them, I still often wonder what I could have made of myself if I hadn't gotten pregnant at 17.  What if I hadn't gotten pregant AGAIN so soon?  What if I hadn't have had a baby with my new husband?  What could I have been???


    I hope you don't view this an insult.  It's a compliment in the hugest sense.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • you don't sound like a horrible mother. a horrible mother is one that doesn't accept the consequences, one who does not take responsibilty. A good mother does, a good mother struggles but tries to do the best for their child, a good mother makes sacrifices. You sound like your diong a good job and are a good mother :)
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 3:57 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • You won't know if you are a horrible mother until the child is grown and you see the results of your parenting skills so don't judge yourself now, life will do that later. For now, just do the best you can like the rest of us have done. Keep trying. Learn from mistakes. Never quit. Give it all you have. That's what makes a good mother. (imo)
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:29 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • First, I doubt your a horrible mother.. now I understand how you feel.. I can try to do everything right, but at the end of the day, I look back at my mistakes and go "crap... I suck at this" ... but I doubt that you are a horrible mother.

    Second, be honest with yourself.. but don't over judge yourself. And ignore others.... who gives a rip what they think? LOL.. if every mother who made a mistake had their uterus's riped out... well, no one would be alive. I think the moms that pass themselves off as perfect are just too insecure to admit that they don't have it all together... its easy to say that you do when your hiding behind a computer screen.. but I have yet to meet one mom in real life who has it all together.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 4:53 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • I have to say, I don't think you're a horrible mother. A horrible mother would never admit to being one; a horrible mother generally thinks they are the best mother ever, and can't see what they are doing wrong. I can't speak to anything else you said, b/c I don't know you or anything about your situation. All I can really say is it seems you made some mistakes and you learned from them, and that is what life is all about. We all make mistakes, and some of them we learn from, others we repeat. Anyone who would tell you your uterus should be ripped out b/c you got pregnant unintentionally and then kept the child needs to see a therapist.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 4:59 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • thanks ladies :]
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 5:11 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • A horrible mother is one who doesnt care at all.
    You care, you admit your wrongs and go on. Thats how things should be handled in life.
    No one is perfect and I, too, am capable of admitting when Im wrong about something.

    So, you do what you gotta do to raise a good son. You ARE a good mom.
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 7:02 PM on Apr. 19, 2009