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Help! I am the single Mom of a 7 year old boy who's behavior is out of control.

His Dad is non-existent in our life and my Son has never known him. For the past year his behavior has gone from bad to worse. He smarts off about everything. Saying things like " You be quiet, I am not going to, how about if I just pour this milk all over you, getting in my face and screaming, temper tantrums that include him throwing things and grabbing my arms and squeezing them so tight he can cause pain. He refuses to listen and I have to tell him over and over to get anything done.

I have tried everything from time out- spanking- taking away his toys, You name it- nothing works. It is as though his temper takes complete control and he just loses it. When he calms down he is always very sad and apologizes over and over and asks if I still love him.
When he plays with other children he is bossy, hateful, selfish, and controlling. However at school he does great and gets above average grades in every subject.

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Asked by ladyjp at 3:14 PM on Apr. 19, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (7)
  • You need to have this child evaluated by a developmental pediatrician or child psychologist to rule out any type of disorder that could be causing this (bi-polar and autism come to mind). Once you have ruled those out it is time to consult with a behavioral therapist. Some of this could be from lack of a male role model or simply hormones. Whatever the cause you need to find it and nip it now or things can get alot worse in a few years when he gets bigger and stronger. It's time to bring in some outside help. There's nothing wrong with that. I have three boys with autism and a daughter who got a little out of line, but is now back where she needs to be. Good Luck mama!! Hoping for the best. HUGS!!

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 3:22 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • You need to scare the crap out of him. My hubby says astablish dominance. He would bring his voice really low and tell them to knosk it off now. In there face the whole time My oldest never got that bad so I really am not sure if it will work. My friends mom pick her up and chucked er on the bed to scare her but not hurt her and that worked but she was 17. I'ld honestly say counceling. I'm so sorry you have to go through that alone I don't know what I would do with out my hubby in that sit. Good luck sorry I can't be more help.

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 3:25 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • I agree that this is the time to bring in some professional help. I also have a couple of other suggestions: This book was recommended to me by my child's counselor: KIDS PARENTS AND POWER STRUGGLES by Mary Sheedy Kurchina. It is only around $10, and absolutely worth every penny! Also, the 1-2-3 Magic program would be a great companion to this because it gives you really clear steps of how to deal with those kinds of problem behaviors. I have not read the book but I have the dvd and think it is great. You can get the book/dvd any place they sell books. You can learn more about it on their website


    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 3:28 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • It sounds like some sort of ADD, or possibly autism. Not like full blown autism but there are certain kinds where they aren't FULLY autistic. I would take him to the doctor and tell them about his behavior. My brother has ADHD, and it was REALLY bad. He excelled in things like video games, and board games, and electronics. My uncle has the autism thing and he is AMAZING with music. If you give him a song he can sing it after hearing it ONE time. It's really amazing. Oh and also my uncle can solve wheel of fortune games with NO letters on the board. It's insane. But yeah, I would call your doctor and maybe even just get a reference to a specialist. Good luck =]

    Answer by mommykayti at 4:31 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • Where did he get the apologize and do you still love me from?

    Answer by MizKizzy at 6:55 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • This might be an odd idea, but put him in some form of martial arts. Research and see if there is any good institutions in your area, speak to the instructor about his problems, many of them also work with the kids on issues like the ones you've mentioned as well as grades etc. That might be a good way to both have a strong male figure in his life, and teach him discipline and self control. I have a 4 year old that has always had anger issues. We enrolled him in Tae Kwon Do 6 months ago, and it's amazing the difference it has made in his attitude. He has really bonded with his instructor and it has helped him alot in his selfcontrol, and he is only four, it might be the way to go for your child as well.

    Answer by Panditacjp at 7:25 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • I have two just like that ,you have give it time.When you say no mean no!Dont give in.If you give in then he know how to push your buttons,I hope this helps

    Answer by ProudMommy1998 at 4:03 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

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