Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is it okay to just give up?

I've been married 10 yrs, with 3 kids in 3 1/2 years. 4 1/2 yrs ago I started college. He left, saying I was gone too much between school & work (all but one class were online). We got back together a yr later, but I had to transfer to a university and attend on campus so last Jan he gave me the choice of school or him and left again. We started dating in Oct and I just found out I'm pregnant. I've caught him lying many times over the yrs. He's called his ex behind my back several times & was looking for another ex online. I found out last month he belongs to dating sites. He hasn't had a job in 5 years. He explains these actions with his severe anxiety. He needs to know if it doesn't work out with me he has a backup woman to care for him. I can't complain ever because he gets upset. I have no car so I walk 4 miles a day to school (8 miles on Thursday when I go twice). I am preg & tired & so sick of him. Can I just give up?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:55 PM on Apr. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Yes,I would just give up...And get a car.. I'd go after his ass for child support too. He's a loser. You can do so much better than him.

    Answer by sarapurser at 8:58 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • sounds like you would be better off without that loser

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • Sweetie, he don't you know he loves you - and why shouldn't he? You support him, you sleep with him (at least enough to give him kids), you don't complain, you listen to him gripe, you allow him to have other women and listen to his excuses (umm, can YOU have a "backup man" in case HE doesn't work out, and do these other women know they're the "plan B"?!?)

    He knows you're working to get educated and make a better future for yourself, and yet, he also knows that he can put you down and make it as hard as possible for you to do to this, ensuring that you will never think you deserve better than him.

    Now, why would you want to give up someone like that?


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:02 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • cont

    Seriously Sweetie, there isn't anything there for you to "give up". It sounds like he left your marriage years ago. If you really want to try to fix it, I would DEMAND that he stop with the other women and that you get some marriage counseling - maybe through your school.

    But, to be honest with you, while I'm not a fan of divorce as the solution to everything, I think in this case, as you've described, divorce would be the best option for you.

    I'm sorry :-(

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:03 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • Child support, car, and LEAVE HIS ASS!!! you do NOT need that. EVER. You can get plenty of help from the govt. for temporary till you can get on your feet and stay there. The kids (if not already in day care) would do GREAT in daycare. They will get lots of interaction with more kids that are their age, and it might be better for them to learn from different experiences!! Don't worry about the kids. They are probably better off without him too!! He sounds like hes an excuse giving LOSERRRR!!!! I've had one and got rid of him QUICK. You can do better for you and your kids =]

    Answer by mommykayti at 9:08 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.