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Do you think it would be okay if your husband.....

went to a basketball game with his ex? They share a son, she has an extra ticket, do you think there's boundaries here?? we've been a family for 9 years. and she's put us through a lot. Do you think it would send mixed messages to the child? Put yourself in my shoes before you judge.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:01 PM on Apr. 19, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (11)
  • well how old is the son, 9 or older. if he's that old, I dont see how he would see or get mixed messages. it's more about how do you feel? thats what needs to be communicated. its not like it was your step son playing and they were both watching. it was just a game that I asssume, if he enjoys it that much, he could purchase tickets for you all to go. you need to talk to him about it. if you keep it inside, it will just build up. he is a guy after all, he can't read your mind.
    Kerinmomof2

    Answer by Kerinmomof2 at 9:11 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • My first thought was perhaps she wanted to show the kids both sides of parenting support but then when I saw she has put you and your family through alot, I changed my mind. I would have a problem with it but its for you to bring up to your hubby and for him to make a decision about what to do. He has to realize that this may be sending mixed messages and may not be good for the child. I personally would have a problem with a troublesome ex doing this simply because women can be petty and just want something to talk about. He gave her a chance by doing this. I would just try to be supportive to the child and talk to hubby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:12 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • Humm, if she has caused trouble before, why is she trying to take him out now? IS she just trying to be nice, or is she trying to start more trouble? Humm, hard one to call.
    As far as the child, it would be good for him to see that mommy and daddy can get along even though they don't love each other anymore. The only problem I have is WHY is she suddenly trying to be nice?
    -Ashley
    spiritguide_23

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 9:13 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • I am divorced and my ex caused a lot of problems but I would go w him to the game for my son's sake. I think it shows that even if the parents are divorced that they can still get along and my son is 6yrs old but he knows that his mom and dad aren't going to get back together...he is just happy to be around both of us and know that we get along.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 9:15 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • Is the child going too? or would it just be your SO and his ex? If the child is going, it may be a good thing. What I mean by this is, if they can be civil and not bicker, the child may enjoy having sometime with mom and dad. My nephew knows his parents will never be together again, his father is married to another woman now, but he does like to do things with just his mom and dad. My sister and his dad are very civil and actually do alot of things with my nephew. If they can't be nice to each other I would not recommend it. If the child will not be going, then no I don't think it would be a good or beneficial thing....does that make any sense?
    mere417

    Answer by mere417 at 9:16 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • I SMELL A RATT I COULD NOT TRUST HER NEXT TIME HE NEEDS TO GET HIS OWN TICKET !
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • I would NOT allow it. After the things I have been through with my fiance's baby's mother, I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER be okay with him going ANYWHERE with her. I won't even allow them to talk. She is NO good. If they need to talk about the child, they can do so, in MY living room with ME present. Point blank. =]
    mommykayti

    Answer by mommykayti at 9:26 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • Oh and if she has an extra ticket, why not take the son? And if she is already taking the son, why not let him bring a friend?
    mommykayti

    Answer by mommykayti at 9:27 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • If the son is going too I think it's okay. But then again I don't think if I was in that situation that I would be cool with it. I would be angry that my husband put me in that type of position. If they are not together they should not do things together. She should take her extra ticket and take someone else.
    mamofive

    Answer by mamofive at 9:28 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • As long as the child is going and you trust your husband, I wouldn't see a problem with it. It would show the child that mom and dad can still get along even if they are not together. You have to remember that they are still SS parents and should be able to do things together once in a while. There are school functions that they will have to be together at, graduation, wedding,etc.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:28 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

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