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I was wondering what other moms do when a child shoves and yells at their child and their mother does nothing?

My daughter is one of those kids that likes to interact with others and at soccer practice she gave a hug to a new child.

This new child then shoved my daughter hard enough to make her neck snap back. The mother did nothing, but watch. She didn't intervene until her child started following mine around yelling instructions at her! Then, all she said was, "you aren't the coach!"

I understand that 3-4yr olds will sometimes be physical, but I cannot understand a parent who does not reprimand her child in that kind of a situation. My child then didn't want to be there anymore and I had to explain that there are children who do not like to be touched and that can be mean. I was so mad about the mother of the other child!

When my child does anything mean to another child and I see it, I take the time to call her out on it right then. It becomes a learning opportunity for proper behavior for my child.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on Apr. 19, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (16)
  • My mom was always cool about it. She would raise her voice just enough to be heard (but not sound rude) and say "Ok, Let's play nice". That got the attention of folks, acknowledged the inappropriate behavior but didn't offend anyone. I used it when I had kids and my kids use it with their kids and friends. It sort of works without causing a nasty fuss.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:02 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • I agree with you. If a child is doing something I don't like to my child, and their mother isn't doing anything about it, I either talk to the parent, or say something to the child. NO ONE is going to act like that toward MY child. If they don't like it then that's just too bad. I WILL give my opinion when I think it's needed. End of story. =]

    Answer by mommykayti at 10:03 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • I think you did the right thing, by explaining to your child about how other children can behave.. what I have done is similar to the 1st reply, I'd say that's not nice or let's not hit, push, ect.. or at times I have just taken my child away from the situation, cause honestly there are mom's and dad's out there that just don't care if their child is mean.

    Answer by Mommy2seven at 10:16 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • Mama tiger comes out of me when anyone does something that hurts my baby. We had an incident like this at the park that some kid snatched my sons baseball bat away and hit him with it. I calmly (took ALL my strength not to knock that boy upside his head) walked over and knelt down and said "I need that bat please" and took ot from him and while lightly holding his arm I explained to him that we do not hit and the bat was not his and he needed to find something else to play with. The mother of this child had watched the whole thing and laughed when she saw her kid do it telling her friend "I won't have to worry about my son being bullied" So I went to the mother and told her to control her child. It may have been 'rude' but if you as the mom isnt going to stand up for your kid then who will?

    Answer by theheartbaby at 10:28 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • It depens how old the other child is. The other day at the park some older kids (like age 7) were picking my son (not even two). I told them if they werent going to play nice they needed to leave the toddler playground and play on the one for older kids. There parents were nowhere around. If they are closer my sons age I usually say something like "now lets all play nice" if the parents dont catch on and it happens again I take kayden to find something else to do.

    Answer by Chandra034 at 11:00 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • I would have sternly told the child that we do not push. If the mother had anything to say about that, I would have told her that if she had been doing her job, I wouldn't have needed to do it for her.
    I will watch no one hurt my child without reprimand.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • Yeah this happens all the time with the kid across the hallway. She pushes or calls my daughter a "stupid girl". Yesterday they were playing and this kid swore my daughter was choking her, but that was not true because I was watching the whole scene unfold. This kid calls my daughter a liar and then when I said my daughter does not lie, the kid called me a liar. I told her brother to get their mother because I will not yell at someone else's child..She's 4 by the way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on Apr. 19, 2009

  • you need to teach your child boundaries not everyone is comfortable with being hugged on

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Answered at 12:13 AM on Apr. 20, 2009 by: Anonymous
    you need to teach your child boundaries not everyone is comfortable with being hugged on

    I agree.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:28 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • For me, this is harder than it seems at the first take. See our first reaction is to want to punch the other kid :) After all, how dare they not see how wonderful our kids are.

    What I try to do is two things: 1. Use these situations to teach my son what he can do to stand up for himself. Because in the real world, even in the office or anywhere there will always be bullies. I won't be there to show him how to protect himself. Kids need to lean early healthy ways to assert themselves, for example " hey, you have no right to push me/ touch me/ take my toy."

    2. If this doesn't work, I have no problem stepping in and saying to the other child, "Hey, I'm sorry but you can't push him." Kids are usually so shocked to have been told by an adult who isn't there parent they will stop right away. If the other parent has a problem, I just let them know that I can't tolerate physical attacks and that's how it is.


    Answer by dreyamom at 12:34 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

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