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should i get help?

My fiance got killed in a car accident when i was 13 weeks pregnant (21 weeks currently) and this is our first child and only child, he is due on August 31st im not really the least bit excited, im not into looking at baby clothes, or when i feel him kick. I get real paranoid, like since this happen to me (losing Pierre) i am going to lose our baby and have absolutely no reason to live. I carry a smile with everyone, show them how strong i am, how i hold my head up high and when i get home its a whole new game, i just lay there i guess you could say depressed, i would never do anything to hurt our baby, just scared im going to lose him or i dont know i guess, you could say not be the best mom i can be because im not excited, im not over joyed when i feel him moving around, or kicking... Should i talk to the dr about this or seek therapy? I am soo confused, this is a time in a persons life when the should be crazy excited (cont

 
dlepasti

Asked by dlepasti at 1:51 AM on Apr. 20, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (14)
  • My OB/GYN suggested I see a counselor after my husband died, even before we knew I was pregnant. His office even gave me a recommendation to a good counselor. It could definetly not hurt to see someone and just be able to get your feelings out without having to put on a smile for anyone. I wish I lived closer I would give you a hug and a shoulder to lean on. A pregnancy is always stressful and for us to have our husbands killed during our pregnancies just adds to that stress level.
    mandisue1

    Answer by mandisue1 at 5:26 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • (cont) and im not, im not excited to do anything... does this sound like postpartum during pregnancy? should i be worried? should i seek help from my dr or therapist?
    dlepasti

    Answer by dlepasti at 1:52 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • I think you should talk to a counselor. You are grieving and it is normal to feel ways that you dont' understand. I am sure that when you see your child and realize your love is living on through him that you will be so happy
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • If you feel you need to then talk to your dr. or speak to a therapist about what your doing through
    Leilany1019

    Answer by Leilany1019 at 1:54 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • get help mama. even just going and talking will make you feel better. I didn't go thru anything you did, and I couldn't even imagine the pain you are feeling from your lose, but I had to seek help myself. I didn't realize how bad I really was until I started therapy. I wish I wouldn't have waited so long. take care sweetie ♥
    heatherbug82

    Answer by heatherbug82 at 2:12 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • thank u heather! and everyone else!
    dlepasti

    Answer by dlepasti at 2:14 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • I would talk to your Dr. and yes talk to a therapist. You have just been through a great loss and talking it out will help so much. You do want to share how your feeling with your baby dr. though because he/she will want to keep an eye on the baby and you making sure you don't go into early labor. Also Take a friend shopping with you for baby things, don't go alone. It will be easier and more enjoyable if you go with someone else. Take good care of yourself and do be honest with family and good friends about your feeling. You don't have to smile and be so strong all the time, let them help. Good Luck hope all goes well for you.
    susan6xblessed

    Answer by susan6xblessed at 2:27 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Anytime you need to talk, weather its just to chit chat, vent, cry, scream and yell....I'm only a message away. ☺
    heatherbug82

    Answer by heatherbug82 at 2:34 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Please talk to your doctor. My husband cheated on me while I was pregnant with our first ans it made me so depressed. Not that t is anywere as close to what you are going through but I needed help too. PLease talk to you doctor. You need to be the best mommy for that child. You will be one too, God doesn't put you in situations you can't handle and everything happens for a reason so believe in that
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Thats the weird thing too.. i have gone shopping with friends and its just not there (i used to be a SHOPAHOLIC lol) i dont want to really look at baby things, and our families are talking about planning me a baby shower and its like i dont even want that, i feel like just shrivling up and dying in a corner, i know i cant because pierre would be mad at me for that soo, i do strive through this pregnancy for him. If it werent for being pregnant i think i probably wouldve tried killn myself already... ive had a few thoughts on how i could do it after our sons born but i know same thing pierre would be mad at me for that too... i dont know im not to sure how this is supposed to get better, i feel like its getting so much more worse as each day passes, its becoming more and more a reality for me, and it makes me miss him more and more and wish to see him, touch him, talk to him, kiss him, tell him how much i love him...
    dlepasti

    Answer by dlepasti at 2:45 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

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