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is it okay to get mad when your baby is cying non-stop?

sometimes when my son wont stop cring i get every worked up and start cring and screaming myself. this is silly but when he doesnt stop to get through it i make faces and same some hurtful things. i dont every mean what i say, and its not like i would ever hurt him but after everything is better and he stops cring i feel so bad like im a bad mother. do other moms do that? and what do they do when their baby wont stop cring?

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leray89

Asked by leray89 at 2:34 AM on Apr. 20, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Sounds like you could be suffering from PPD. Your baby is crying because he needs you not because he hates you and is trying to maek you mad. It is normal to be frustrated when your baby won't stop crying, but not to the point where you are yelling at him. Seek help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:37 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • it does happen... just make sure he is not hungry, has a dry diaper... try cuddling him.. if nothing works and you are getting angry just put him in a safe place and walk away... give yourself a few min. to calm down...

    i don't think its ppd, and you don't need to "seek help"...you are a new mom and having a newborn can get stressful...

    just dont forget crying is the only way he knows how to communicate to you... he is not doing it to piss you off... he needs/wants something...

    how much does he cry?? is it litterally ALL THE TIME? he may be colic... you can pm me if u ever need someone to talk too...
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 2:42 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • It's not "okay," but it is normal to have strong reactions to a baby's crying. First of all, I just want to say that if you are letting your baby "self-soothe" during these bouts, you would probably be better served to throw out that idea and just hold your baby. You and baby would be happier and healthier.
    If you are holding your baby and the crying continues: it is not your job to stop the crying. It is your job to meet your baby's needs. This means making sure he is fed, changed, clean, comfortable, and not overstimulated... and sometimes it means supporting and loving him while he cries. This was a lifesaver for me when I had a colicky baby; I can't really share a lot in this limited space but it is called in arms crying and learning to ride out the crying feeling calm and connected to him, rather than so frustrated and completely overwhelmed.
    Collinsky

    Answer by Collinsky at 2:47 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Maybe other babies are different (mine is my only experience with babies) but I dont think babies ever cry for no reason at all. There is always a reason. Hunger, diaper, sleepiness, needs bonding/TLC...? If my child is crying I just try to identify what she is needing.
    I personally don't think its right to say hurtful things to your baby. This will only carry into childhood when he/she can understand what your saying and you could do real damage. If you find that you can't stop saying things, I think getting help would be wise for you.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 2:50 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • i would get mad too, my son always cried and it was so bad for me. i would cry too and yell and leave him in another room until i cooled down. one day it was so bad i called my husband and told him i was going to throw the baby unless he came home from work and watched him for me (to be fair i also had PPD). then we worked out a 'schedule' where i would watch him during the day he would watch him at night so i could have 'me' time... really if i was doing it alone i would not be here, i would be either dead or in Mexico under an assumed name ;]
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 2:56 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Yes you may have ppd but maybe not I've gone through the same when my dd was colic. I would talk to my ped and see what they say if the baby if crying none stop and he is ok clean diap and not hungry ext. then let them cry it out if it's colic try 1 teas. of yolplait yougurt.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 3:37 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • my ds drove me crazy. you could not put him down, and he would cry incessantly. Not colic, just very high strung, high needs child. He had an exaggerated startle reflex that didn't go away until he was over a year. I would get so frustrated I wanted to scream, throw things, oh the effect that crying had on me. If baby's needs are met, put him down for a moment, walk away, if he's safe, calm down. You aren't a bad mom for feeling this way, no baby isn't crying to hurt you, but it's only natural to get frustrated, instead of yelling, walk away. Crying doesn't kill the baby.
    southernwldchld

    Answer by southernwldchld at 5:37 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • It is ok to feel frustrated, even angry if you keep it in check. It is ok too cry. If you MUST say something say something you mean. "Mommy loves you so much, I hurt when you feel sad".

    If yu think you may lose control, start yelling or worse. Take a deep breath, gently place him in his crib say 'I love you but I need to go out. I will be right back. Step out of the room, close the door and take several deep breaths. Calm yourself for a minute or two, then go back and cuddle and bond with your baby.

    This is NOT CIO it is simply calming yourself so you are able to care for your baby.

    Jerichos_Mommy

    Answer by Jerichos_Mommy at 6:04 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • O Honey, it is so normal! When our daughter had colic, and screamed for several hours every night, spouse or I would say: I understand why people throw their baby against the wall. It is ok to be angry and upset, just not ok to take it out on your baby. Babies need to feel loved and secure, but so do moms. If you don't have anyone to give you a break, it is ok to leave the baby crying in a safe place for 10 or 15 minutes, close the door, and hide in another room.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:18 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Depending on how often this is happening it could be PPD. The occasional once every other week or so is normal. If you are truly to the point of yelling and screaming at the baby then put LO down and go to the other room for a few mintues if there is no one else to take LO. I don't condone CIO, but letting them cry alone for a few minutes while you calm yourself is better then the child getting hurt because you didn't calm yourself down. My DS drove me nuts when his 1 year molars were coming in and I thank goodness that I had a very supportive DH there and we would take turns walking the hall with him in the middle of the night.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 7:12 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

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