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do you ever feel taken advantaged of by your family and friends

ive been married thirty years. my husband is a truck driver. hes gone for a month at a time. we have three kids and three grandkids. when my husband leaves he gives me my to do list or i call it my orders. our youngest is a high school senor and a teen mom. so im called to babysit often. she also works part-time. my middle child has two ver zealous boys. ones nine the other one is three. at my age its hard to keep up. im starting to get aches and pains. but they feel im in my thrities or fourties. imin myfifthies. sometimes i wish i could say no to these babysitting duties. but i dont want them to feel like i dont want to see my grandchildren. i love all three boys. is it too much to ask my family to say hey mom how are you doing can i do something for you. do any of you have this problem

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:35 AM on Apr. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • People dont know you feel this way until you let them know. Have you tried to talking to them all? Sit them down over a nice family meal and let them know you need to slow down. If that means they need to find another babysitter for part or all of the time then so be it. You have obviously been a wonderful mom and done more than some mom have done all their lives.
    If you can't talk to them, write letters...just be sure to communicate otherwise you can't blame them at all.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 3:03 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Be straight up honest with them. Mention that there are some days that you're feeling your age, and that you love having the kids over but do to weather, some days are better than others (with arthritis and bone problems I know dampness/cold plays a part), and as long as no one takes advantage of each other, it's always okay to ask for help, it doesn't mean they'll say yes, but you've asked. For some reason I sense that you're not a complainer, which is a good thing, but sometimes you just have to say no, today's not a good day, I'm not feeling well or I'm in a bad mood etc. I'd rather someone tell me they're tired or don't feel good than to be holding back on fear of inconveniencing me, or thinking they're a bad family member/friend if they say no.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:38 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • In this kind of situation you have to just tell them outright sometimes, NO! My aunt is in your same situation, taking care of her 10 year old GREAT granddaughter while the mom is perfectly capable of doing so and it makes me so mad! You could try sitting them all down and telling them, "hey I'm not as young as I once was! Sometimes I get tired and i need to time to myself. That doesn't mean I don't love my grandchildren. I just can't take care of them as much as I used to, but I'd still love to help out as much as I can without feeling run down." Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • LOL!! ALL the time. I had footprints on my back from my family and friends walking all over me. What I want and need doesn't ever matter. It's all about everyone else.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:55 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

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