Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Fiance thinks staying home is a piece of cake

I'm a stay at home mom. So i do all the household duties which always seems like an endless list and just add everything having to do with a 10mth old boy. My fiance seems to think it's the easiest job in the world. and I know that he couldnt handle doing it. But because he thinks its so easy, I don't think he appreciates what I do. Any ideas of what i can do?

Answer Question

Asked by Kbp1987 at 4:47 AM on Apr. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (70 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • On his next day off YOU relax, let him take care of it all. Write a list of the to-do's PLUS taking care of the lil it will be amusing I did it to my hubby. He is very appreciative now to say no more! Also...sometimes as a wife you just gotta understand that is just what you do for your hubby...and as a mother.

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 5:58 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • don't do anything for a day but take care of the LO and see if he likes living in a don't know how to mat task and it pisses me off cause all mommys can and we learn how to when we become a parent...

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:37 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • I have to agree with the previous answers. I was a SAHM, and DH seemed to think all I did was hang out with the kids, relax, and occasionally clean something. Then he lost his job and I went back to work. So suddenly he was the SAH parent. I'm sure that if he gets a great job and I get to stay home again, there will be a lot more appreciation.

    Answer by mandaday at 6:54 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • If he's never helped you with any of the house work, then he had no idea what it is that you do. As time consuming as a baby is, wait till he gets mobile... my house can go directly to disaster area in a matter of moments. I didn't make my 1st one learn to put things away, or not take food outside the eating area... I remember finding food hiding in jewelry boxes and sippy cups full of milk hidden... y our fun hasn't started yet :(
    On a day when he's off, pile up all of the laundry in plain site so that he can see how much of it you're having to do (and mention how often you have to wash that size pile. Do the same thing with the dishes. They seriously have no idea that we sometimes clean the house a few times a day not to mention all of the spills (well for the older kids). I've learned to let my hubby see the mess that the kids make. I used to clean it before he got home... now I let him see what I'm seeing all day

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:59 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • have him take care of the baby and the house(he has to do the chores and such to) for the weekend. Go away and stay somewhere. he will get it. Or just dont do anything but take care of the baby

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 8:07 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • i think it depends on the day as to whether dh appreciates what i do or don't do.some days i just don['t do it and he gets pissed.He says all of this is MY JOB.yet w/my job,i don't get to sleep in.i don't get a day off.I don't get piad for what i do ever.So even tho he is good to me at times,i wish there was something i could that would make him REALLY see all that i do.I really wish there was something i could say to your for advice,but i was reading this hoping some light came to me,as well.

    Answer by karrey at 8:23 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • I totally understand. Im a stay at home mom and wife of an MP in the army. During regular weeks he is up at 530 for pt and then home after work at 5. The weeks he works the road, he leaves the house at noon and is home between 1030-midnight. On the weekend I would like to sleep in maybe just an hour and not have to worry about getting a bottle ready and a bowl of cheerios for DD and just relax a little. But no I don't get that, the speech i hear at 630 on saturdays is "i work all, I'm up at 530 I should get to sleep in" I take care of DD and the house much like you do with your lil one.....I've told him flat out that I don't think he appreciates what I do during the day around the house on top of taking on college classes. It gets to the point where I spend all day picking up after DD, doing dishes, washing bottles that I just get tired of it.

    So I can feel for you. I agree, let him take the wheel for a little while

    Answer by MPWife89 at 9:41 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • It's time for you to "get the flu" and let him do every damn thing for a couple of days. You can't do it, you're sick and "contagious", he's going to have to act like a true partner and support you.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 10:35 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • OMG, I LOVE the get the flu suggestion! Go for it! My husband is trying to talk me into working full time - as if part time isn't enough with a child and a house to take care of! He works 10-16 hour days - so he's hardly ever here and has no clue how much I get done even on "lazy" days.

    Answer by devante9901 at 10:43 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • My husbands always thinks the same thing! I hate that. Like last night I was up all night with sick toddlers while he slept and he had the nerve to ask if I was just going to lay around all day because he was up before me.

    Answer by MommyAddie at 10:55 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.