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Toddler Tantrums

My two year daughter has become really fussy over what clothes she wears , always wants to wear tshirt and pants never dresses. Why I force the issue she gets really upset . Just wondered if any one else has encountered the same problem and if the were able to overcome the tears.

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Asked by Hannah390 at 7:57 AM on Apr. 20, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (8)
  • Your the parent, she's going to have to realize that she is not going to get her way. My daughter is 1 1/2, and very strrong willed, throws fits when she doesn't get her way also, I usually will put her in her crib, until she calms down. Don't give in to the fit.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:03 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • My little girl just turned 2 and I usually let her help pick out her clothes . IMO, it's just not one of the battles worth fighting. And she always chooses her shoes. A few weeks ago, it was 50 and she insisted on wearing her winter boots. I tried to direct her towards more appropriate shoes but she really wanted her boots. I think letting her pick what she'd like to wear gives her a sense of independence. (DH takes it too far and lets her choose entire outfits and the poor thing looks homeless!)

    Answer by jillmw at 8:35 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Pick your battles. Is it really that important that she wear a dress? If it's a special occasion where it's expected, then that is a battle to be worked out. (explain to her that this is one of those times when we have to do what is expected, not what we necessarily want to do)

    My opinion...fight the battles worth fighting, and not all of them are.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 8:46 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • While I do agree with the previous posts about these battles, this is not a battle that will just go away. Take it from a mom with 2 girls 14 and 11. If shes fighting you about clothes NOW, then its likely to either get worse or you just give in. PErsonally, I always let my girls wear what they wanted and of course it was not what I wanted. They stopped wearing dresses by age 5 or so unless it was to school. They went to a private school. Now, they hardly ever wear dresses. I walk into gymboree to get things for my youngest son and I see all these cute girl things and wish that I could buy them, but I cant. If you are willing to let her run around looking like a mismatched orphan child, then thats great, but if you want her to wear nice things sometimes, then get into the habit of letting her choose one day and then you the next. DOn't let her have ALL the say ALL the time. Its just not a good habit to get into.

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:58 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • In my house, clothes weren't worth a battle, so I let my son pick his own clothes (I started by giving him a choice between two things and then eventually just left it all up to him). I kept the tears limited to the important stuff - so what's important to you...that she wears a dress or that she learns how to make choices for herself? She's at the age where she wants to start exerting control - give her as much control as you can (be reasonable here) so that she doesn't feel helpless.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 10:03 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Sometimes, you have to pick your battles. Does it really matter if dd wears pants instead of dresses? At this age they really want some kind of control. This seems like a great opportunity to ler her have some. I'd recommend setting out her clothing where she can reach them, and let her pick out her clothes each morning. Even better if she can put them on too! :)

    My dd sent to day care with two different socks and shoes on backwards one day. She was soo proud of her self, too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • IMO since kids this age are trying to assert their independence, it's important to give them some controlled choices. The best kind of choices at this age are "Do you want to wear A or B?" not "what do you want to wear?" Give as many of this kind of choice as possible... broccoli or green beans? Upstairs potty or downstairs potty? Should we read a book out on the porch or on the couch? They feel like they have some control but aren't overwhelmed by the infinite possibilities... that's when they can start to get stuck on this one thing and not be able to give it up without an all-out tantrum. So if you really want her to wear a dress, see if she wants to wear this one or that one, and then let her pick out what goes in her hair or something...

    Answer by EmilySusan at 10:54 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • she is just trying to be independent. give her a choice of what she can wear. one dress or jeans and a tshirt kinda thing. maybe if you stop fighting her about it she will eventually wear a dress on her own. let her develope her own style and learn to be comfortable with herself. its not really something that is to important right now. or try a skirt and a tshirt. or make a deal with her if she wears a dress today she can wear pants and a tshirt tomorrow. she's probably just rebelling against what you want right now. it will pass.

    Answer by stephmiester87 at 12:56 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

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