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How can I tell if my DD either has depression, ADHD, or just hyper active? She is 4 years old.

She never stops. She is always moving she can't sit. She is like when we go out in public she is embarrassingly bad to where I do not like taking her out. And yes I do disipline nothing works for her. She is always whinny and you also cannot tell her anything she starts crying. But I don't know if it is just being hyperactive, ADHA or depression. I know hubby and I both had ADHD when we were younger. I have depression I am supose to be on meds for. My whole side on my dad's side is on depression meds. So how can I tell what she has? She is always running threw the house screaming it hurts your ears you tell her to stop she still does it you spank her she still does it. Even sitting her down. If you sit her down she is like laying down with her feet on the back of the chair upside down everything now she is at the point of back talking me please help me before I loose it....

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:37 AM on Apr. 20, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Brilliantly said NovemberLove! In addition to what she said, I found increasing a physical connection with said hyperactive child very useful. Back rubs, lap time, just being near each other can help immensely.

    Nanny B, how would you like to be beaten with a flyswatter? That is so wrong I can't even stand it.
    krisr169

    Answer by krisr169 at 7:07 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • I would have to observe your child before I could even hazard a guess as to what her problem is. I would start by assuming that she simply has not learned to respect the authority of her parents. I would tell her once to stop whatever she is doing that is disrupting or annoying to the family. If she continued, I would spank her with a small flyswatter or something similar on her bare legs hard enough that it would sting. I would do that consistently for a period of time, perhaps up to a month. If I saw absolutely no change within that time frame, I would then most likely take her to her doctor and discuss it with him. I think it is highly unlikely that she is depressed. I would also be very careful about how much sugar and other junk foods that she is eating.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:46 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Oh wow poor thing that hampster in her head is really moving. Thats how I would describe it. I have depression I take meds for. I worry my son is on some level of depression. I took him to the pediatriction. She wanted notes from the teachers from his school. Basically she wanted to see if everyone was on the same page. I would take her to the pediatrician and see what they have to say. I never got him on meds because we use a schedule for him that works. My son really gets out of wack when his scedule his messed with. good luck.
    leeleesboys

    Answer by leeleesboys at 10:46 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Buy the book "Raising Your Spirited Child" today. It will help you change your thinking and see some of her challenging traits as positive ones, if they can be properly socialized. A four-year-old's brain is in such development that medication can be very harmful. Speak to your pediatrician about seeing a behavioral specialist. She may not "have" anything that needs fixed. She may just have a lot of energy that needs to be properly chanelled so that it helps her succeed rather than hindering her. She does need guidance and boundaries and your job as a parent is to deal with her individual traits and help her use them in a positive way. Not to break her will.
    kara_g.

    Answer by kara_g. at 10:47 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • I want to add that spanking a child with this particular personality type is absolutely detrimental and what Nanny B describes is flat out abuse.
    kara_g.

    Answer by kara_g. at 10:48 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Spanking is not abuse read the bible
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • I doubt it's depression. It could be ADHD, or it could be, as another person mentioned, that she just doesn't respect your authority. Or, as another said, she's just very energetic and high spirited. I think the first step would be to take firm control of the reins and really put your foot down. Don't give her the opportunity to ignore you or disrespect you. Tell her once to do or not do something, and if she ignores you, punish however you handle it - spanking, time out, whatever. If she back talks, punish. Whatever she does wrong, punish appropriately. If you do that for a while and it still doesn't change anything, then you can take her to the dr to see if there is something more to it. Also, not all drs will slap a label on your kid and put them on meds. Some, like mine, will truly try to help, suggesting books and tricks to help you with your child. Try to find a good dr that will help you and not just label and drug.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:14 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • It could be either, in kids depression and ADHD often mimic each other. She needs to be evaluated by a professional. Also, until you know why she is acting the way she does, I would not be spanking her. You can either bring her to her pediatrician or to a child counselor.

    anon: I don't care if spanking is in the Bible, that doesn't mean a child needs to be spanked to learn respect or how to behave. There are many other methods that can be used to teach a child respect without spanking.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:26 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • I'm not trying to be rude, please understand that. So here is my answer.

    Discepline is in the eyes of the beholder. I can't tell you how many friends that I have that say how horrible their kids behave and how they just discepline them all day long and don't know what's wrong....HOWEVER, their discepline is not only ineffective but it is spurging on the behavior! You shouldn't have to even get to spanking. There should be a warning and then a time-out with no talking (by you or whomever is disceplining). If the child leaves time out before time is up, put them right back in without saying a thing. If time-out isn't effective the first time, it wasn't done properly. Whining and "don't do that, honey, I said don't do that, no, put that down" and spanking and attempts at time-outs all day long is just dragging out punishment for the child...all day long. Which causes even more behavior.
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 11:56 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • I wouldn't attempt to diagnose my child with something unless I was 100% sure that my discepline was textbook and absolutely not working. I'd ask my doctor about discepline, read books, watch nanny 911 (some of those children have ADHD as well and time out and losing toys and priveledges as discepline is effective for them) and seek the help of parenting counselors.

    Diet can also contribute to poor behavior. Children should not be fed processed foods such as white rice, white bread, most lunch meats, hot dogs, most types of chicken nuggets, foods heavy in saturated fats, excess sodium, caffeine or excess refined sugar. Not only do those things take a horrible toll on the nervous and endocrine systems (among other systems) but they can't even be properly digested by the human digestive system.

    If you're concerned about ADHD or Depression, talk this over with your doctor.
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 12:01 PM on Apr. 20, 2009