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Why do I feel this way?

I feel like there is no spark, no chemistry, nothing anymore between me and my husband. I feel like we are just living together, raising our kids, and going to sleep. Maybe it is just me, maybe it is just what happens after several years with the same person and when motherhood and life happen? Am I feeling something unusual, or is this normal to feel this way? I am feeling like a very confused wife and mother right now, and I do not like the feeling!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Apr. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • From what I have heard this is very common in marriages. So you have to work at it and make it better. Put the spark back into. Make some sort of commitment to eachother that adds some spark (like promising to have sex everyday for one year, and live up to it.) Take a vacation to some where where you both will be experiencing something new. Take a class for something kinda off the wall for the both of you, so you both can have fun and laugh together. Or go to a relationship therapist. My husband and I are going when he gets back, not because there is a problem, but because we want to make what we have better
    HunnysFarAway

    Answer by HunnysFarAway at 11:25 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • You and hubby need some time together, just the two of you, no work, no kids, no talk of finances.... stuff like that can take the romance out of a relationship... Take some time to appreciate eachother and remember what brought you two together to begin with!
    Go on a date, pull out an old photo album or just talk and laugh about the fun times you guys have had together.... do something that is ONLY for the two of you, and just for a little while,let it be Just you guys again. Try not to worry about the kids and the bills- just enjoy eachother.
    Life hits you hard- and too many marriages dont work out because people get so caught up in the world and finances, and taking care of the kids, they forget what made them fall in love to begin with, dont forget why you love him, and what brought you two together.
    Become best friends again, and lovers.... For one night drop the titles of "mommy daddy husband wife" and Just be you.
    trystons_mommy

    Answer by trystons_mommy at 11:28 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • i feel the same way towards my husband. some people or most people get sick seeing the same person day in and day out. go do something with your friends or take your kids to the park and get away for a few hours a day. i think that'll work. or have him take the kids for a few hours and have a drink or what ever you do with your girlfriends. but i dont know how your relationship is with your man. i would just send the kids at grandmas and have dinner and just spend some mommy and daddy time. i hope this helps
    Cadence08

    Answer by Cadence08 at 12:15 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • I've been feeling the same way lately. My husband and I got laid off last year, I've been able to find somewhat of a steady job, he has not and the money I know is putting alot of strain on our marriage...not only that but a couple of months after I got laid off we found out I was pregnant. Before we lost our jobs we set time aside for ourselves without the kids, we also had family outings. Now with the way money is we don't do anything beside activity with the kids or family, and that's about it. Even when we are alone at home it's not the same...we are usually so tired from doing things with the kids we don't spent time with each other. Right now I feel the same like you...like i have a roomate, we show up to things together, leave together but when we are home we are 2 different people. I don't always feel like this but it seems to be more often now.
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 1:35 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

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