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How can I tell my parents?

So I really was raised to be married before you have children, but I'm not, and I just found out I'm pregnant yesterday. I know that my family will be disappointed in me, but I don't see why? Granted, I haven't quite moved out yet, but I'm working on it. I'm really scared that they won't want to be a part of my childs life, and I don't know how well I'll be able to deal with that. I couldn't have made it without them, and I want my child to know how wonderful they are too...but I'm pretty sure they're going to be very angry, upset, and disappointed in me. I know I'm going to tell them, and come right out and do it, but I need some support you guys, and I know you all don't know me, but could I get some advice on how to sit down and make it very clear to them that I want this child, and that I'm ready for this?

P.S. Baby's daddy is still in the picture. We want to get married, just not yet.

 
UKGirl1214

Asked by UKGirl1214 at 11:24 AM on Apr. 20, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (7)
  • You are probably right about how they will react - but remember that this will only be the initial reaction. When I told my dad I was pregnant he jumped on his dirtbike and took off...I didn't talk to him for 2 weeks.

    I also made it very clear to my family that I would not be getting married for the sole reason of having a child. I told them that when I get married it will be on my own terms, not because its "the right thing to do".
    My Grandma tried to tell me that this was not what I needed right now, blah blah blah, and I told her that what I needed right now was her support, not a lecture, and if that was how she was going to be I would not be visiting during my pregnancy. She called me a week later and apologized for her reaction.

    Remember that above all else, they are your parents, and they love you unconditionally. They will be supportive, but you have to give them a chance to adjust. Its a big change for them too.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 11:28 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • if your like 23 or younger then they'll get pissed...they'll get over it...im 19 and my family wasnt too happy about it either lol...but they will get over it.they always do
    MissKellee

    Answer by MissKellee at 11:26 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Just be honest with them and let them know that you love them and you feel that you are ready for the responsibility. Reassure them that you are stepping up to the plate and will do what you have to do but its important to you to have them there and have their love and support.
    and as for The babys father- Your family could look more harshly on him than you. so make sure to make it clear hes stepping up to the plate too, and You need their support in your relationship with him too. Just keep your head up, be up front with them and Im sure everything willl work out for you. If you ever need a friend send me a message. Good luck sweety!
    trystons_mommy

    Answer by trystons_mommy at 11:36 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • It's going to shock them and disappoint them yes BUT I was 20 and not married and had my son before I got married. My moms first reaction was to think positive that i mat just have a tumor (she was really upset) and my dad who I was terrified of telling was really excited and told me he was excited about being a grandpa. My mom was shocked by his reaction lol. But remember that even though you've disappointed them by this ONE action you have the rest of your life to make them proud by your actions. As they watch you raise your baby and see all the things you do to better yourself and your child they will forget they ever had a negative thought. GL and I hope everything works out BTW my way of telling my parents was to 'casually' ask if maternity was included in our health insurance lol it pretty much said what I needed to say without feeling like I was saying "Your little girl was getting down & dirty & not Im knocked up" lol
    theheartbaby

    Answer by theheartbaby at 11:41 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • absolutely present it to them in a positive mood, not like you are disappointed. Get yourself syched to be excited and they will respond happier as well. even if you tell your mom first so she can break the news to dad before you tell them when you are together or v v may be easier. use easier words to digest. There is going to be a new member of the family. I'm going to be a mommy. you're going to be grandparents. but remember to be happy about it. and let them know you want them to be in the little one's life.
    txwantedx

    Answer by txwantedx at 11:55 AM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • they might react bad but i really doubt that they will take it out on an innocent child- they will definitely want to be a part of the new additions life- yeah u might have to get a little bit of an attitude now from them but watch they will be buying ur baby clothes and the such before long
    i would just out right tell them- the longer u wait the harder it will be and the madder they will be- just open up and tell them this is not a time for them to be going all crazy on u- that ur going through alot too and u just need their support and not their criticism
    lovelyli217

    Answer by lovelyli217 at 12:18 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • They'll get over it, they could be mad at first, maybe if they are really set in thier ways they'll be mad until you have the baby, maybe you should wait until you do move out if it's going to be soon, unless you think they will still support you. They will be happy about it eventually. My Mom was never mad when I told her and if she was dissapointed she didn't show it, I lived with her for a few months after my first was born, until I got married. Good luck with your situation!
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 2:42 PM on Apr. 20, 2009