Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Married Women (who married in a CHURCH):

I was just wondering how many couples out there went through pre-marital counseling, whether it was required or by choice, and whether or not you found it beneficial. TY

DF & I are going through ours currently, we're tyin the knot in September, and it is required in the church we're getting married in. We both really enjoy it and find it VERY helpful with our relationship. We don't have to take "compatiblity" tests, they're not there to tell us whether or not we're compatible, but the tests help you understand more how each person communicates, how they solve problems, what kind of background they come from and how it may affect those things, etc.
I will also add that we've been together 4 1/2y, 5 y by the wedding date (we have a 5mo old son), and we both still find it very helpful. We both believe that relationships need contsant effort and constant work, and no relationship is perfect and in no need of work or effort.

Answer Question
 
carliemarie1015

Asked by carliemarie1015 at 12:42 PM on Apr. 20, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 12 (765 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Yes it was required and I loved it and wish we could do it still. LOL :] I encouraged my brother to do it.. he was engaged and married all within about 6 months. and he refused too. I talked to him the other day and he made the comment how he wished that he would have cause he knows now it would have been beneficial.
    amy31308

    Answer by amy31308 at 12:44 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • And any comments about how "if we're going through this our relationship must not be that strong to begin with", SAVE IT! I don't want to hear it, because DF & I have a VERY strong relationship, and this is something we feel can make our relationship even stronger, and it already has, with just 2 sessions! We have nothing to lose and a lot to gain from this! And I would encourage everyone who plans on getting married to go through with it...because really, it really does help...at least the program we're using.
    carliemarie1015

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 12:46 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • It wasnt required of us but we did it anyway to benefit from it. It really helped us out a out with understanding each other better. We discussed things that in the 7 years I've known him I never thought to ask and so we enjoyed it. Plus when we went to get our marriage license you get a discount if you bring your marriage counseling certificate for doing the course. Congrats on the coming marriage
    theheartbaby

    Answer by theheartbaby at 12:48 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • We went through it and loved it. Not only was it beneficial for our marriage, but it also put us in the right state of mind going into the marriage. With all the stress of planning a wedding, it was nice to sit down and just talk about our relationship and what marriage would mean for us. It was also comic relief since we ended up laughing a lot during the counseling. And another positive aspect was through counseling we got to know the pastor pretty well and felt very comfortable with him once the wedding came around.

    KelleyP77

    Answer by KelleyP77 at 12:54 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Never heard of it.  I was married in a church and it wasn't required.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 12:54 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Well, I wasn't actually married in a a church building, but the pastor we had marry us made us go through premarital counseling. I didn't find it really all that helpful, since all the stuff we went over in the class we had already talked about. So, it was just lot of "god wants this, God wants that" stuff that we both listented to quietly as we rolled the extra eyes we have in the backs of our heads.
    -Ashley
    spiritguide_23

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 1:02 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • We didn't have a required counseling session, but my pastor did talk with us for a good hour or so on marriage according to God and the bible, so I guess that counts, LOL.
    jennijune_21

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 1:11 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • We were required to sit and talk with the pastor, but no written testing or anything. oh and no blood testing like my parents went thru. The one thing that stuck with me was when he talked about the three C's of marriage. They are Communication, Consideration, and Compromise. At the time i didn't think much of it, but yes it did help alot. Especially since we are of different religious backgrounds. It's something to think about when you decide to bring children into the house.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 1:26 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • I wasn't married in a church. It does sound like fun to go through that program though.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • I WAS MARRIED THROUGH THE CATHOLIC CHURCH AND IT WAS SO LONG AGO THAT BACK THEN IT WASN'T REQUIRED, BUT I THINK IT IS A GREAT IDEA . SADLY ENOUGH IT HASN'T LOWERED OUR DIVORCE RATES.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:42 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN