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should i try to connect with my deadbeat babys fathers other childs mother so the siblings can know eachother?

My daughters father is hardly around but his mother calls periodically and has come to get her two times in the 9 months she's been on earth, once when she was 4 months and the second time was the day before easter, my daughters father has another daughter by another mother who I would like my baby to get to know and have contact with however all the time they have had family events my baby was excluded except for. The first time the grandma came to get the baby, the other daughter was with them. anyway the dad dosent seem to care whether they know eachother or not and the grandmother most likely will pick them up at separate times, my questioon is do you think its wrong for me to reach out to the other babys mother so the siblings can bond? This would require me to look at my grandmothers phone records to obtain her number from a day he used my grandmas phone to call her, its crazy yall

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themommy160

Asked by themommy160 at 1:52 PM on Apr. 20, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • If you feel you want her in your life then yes. If not then no, why cause heartache if you can prevent it. Does she show interest in being around you or your child? Is there issues between the two of you or drama? Did he have you both pregnant at the same time so you both were cheated on? Its worth a try as long as the bridges are not burnt already.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 1:54 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • you can throw it out there in a friendly way & ask the other mom if she is interested in her child having a relationship w/ her 1/2 sibling. If she says no, then that's it. Easy.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:55 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Maybe you need to leave well enough alone. Well actually want you get in contact with his other baby mother and ask her if it's alright and if she says no, which most likely she will, than let it go and be thankful her grandmother as well as you loves and cares for her. Im sure she has little cousins to play with. Sometimes when a man has 2 baby mothers, in some cases they want get along. But if you go about it maturely than maybe you'll have some luck. Don't do this just to see if your child's father is still talking to her ok.
    diamondmamma

    Answer by diamondmamma at 1:56 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • IF it will cause problems with the dad and you, no. If you can be civil with the new woman, yes. It depends on how you feel.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Don't mean to sound bitchy here, but is this a religious question?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • No I am actually the new babys mom his other baby is five years old, I don't know that mother but I do know they don't have any kind of relationship other than the child in common, he's not there for both of us, and as far as I and his relationship is concerned that is a strain already. I don't like drama so its not about that I just sincerely want them to know eachother and for us as women to band together for the sake of the children. So hopefully she's up to that
    themommy160

    Answer by themommy160 at 2:02 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • My daughter has almost the same situation with my 3 year old granddaughter. My granddaughter has a little brother who is 9 months and 1 day younger than her. The day she was born,they found out the new girlfriend was pregnant. So, here we are. Now, the dad is in prison for 6 years, and my daughter and the other girl have spent time together,as well as both babies with their grandma, and, their older sister and brother. The dad's mom and sister try really hard to have a good relationship with my granddaughter and the other little one. They spend as much time as schedules allow. I say, if it won't cause too much of a problem, you should at least contact the other mom,and see if she'd like to get together,and let the babies meet,and spend some time together. Siblings need to be a part of each other's lives.
    stvmen88

    Answer by stvmen88 at 2:04 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Anon 2 its whatever you want it to be baby girl
    themommy160

    Answer by themommy160 at 2:06 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • OP is your child 9 months or 4 months?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • IN MY OPINION~ when you put the "kids" first, all else works around that. What is most important is that the "relationships" your daughter has are HEALTHY and that she FEELS LOVED AND ACCEPTED UNCONDITIONALY, not when it is convenient for others. Being the adult you should address both him and the other mother AND with the gm. Express your feelings and hopes for your daughter and her "sibling". in turn it is good for your daughter to see that ADULTS HAVE A GOOD REPORE AND CAN WORK ON PROBLEMS therefore providing her with a positive experience in dealing with others. If THEY don't want to, then just focus on your daughter but also protect her from the "now we have time for you, now we don't" I WORKED VERY HARD IN THE BEGINNING with my son's Dad and after awhile things got easier and the boys are happy to have a big family and feel accepted by everyone just as any child should!Because of that too, they can't get away with crap!
    NoDramaMamma

    Answer by NoDramaMamma at 2:12 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

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