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Is she traumatized by the dental visit?

My daughter had to get a filling at the dentist last week. She is almost 3 1/2. She has been potty trained for a year and half. Well they don't let the parents go back (which my dtr is not good with strangers). When she was getting her filling she wet herself probably due to fear or being upset, but since then she has wet her pants every night and I don't know if the dental visit traumatized her or what? Any suggestions?


Asked by 2boysnaprincess at 3:30 PM on Apr. 20, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (10)
  • unfortunately my daughter got her first filling at the local health department and they did not allow parents to go back either. I could hear her screaming from the waiting room. She was definitely traumatized and i did not take her back. My mom said she would help me pay if i would bring her to a regular dentist. I fianlly talked her into it and told her that there would be no pain this time around that they just needed to take a look. I went back with her and she sat there like a perfect angel. when my second child was ready for her first visit, her sister was the one that went with her and told her the whole time that it wouldnt hurt.

    Answer by bckypierce at 6:41 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Yeah find a new dentist, I never heard of a parent not being able to go back with a child that young. Not mine anyway. She probably will be scared so I would pretend play with to help ease her again and just talk with her about it.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • I would NEVER let my small child go someplace I wasn't allowed to be with him/her. Child molesters aren't just dirty old men in raincoats hanging out in the park, you know. It's highly unlikely that the dentist is a child molester, but you can never be certain with anybody if you are not there. However added to the trauma of having a filling, and not having you near, your daughter could very well regress a little. Give her lots of love and attention and she will be back to normal in a couple of weeks. If not, I would take her to a counselor trained in early childhood trauma.

    Answer by pagan_mama at 3:37 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Well I think they changed the policy really, cuz my son when he got his first one I was able to go back with him, but it seems to be the way they do it now across the board for all kids..............but in her case it did not work well for her at all. I like the office and there is lots of staff available and they are really good with kids, I just think it was way too much for her with her initial shyness. I will continue to work with her!

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 3:43 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • It could be the reason. My sons pediatric dentist didn't want parents in the exam room because, from experience, she found that kids cooperated more when a parent was in the room. My son has had teeth pulled without me in the room and did fine. There was atleast 2 other people in the room with the dentist and I was not worried. She did say that if a parent really wanted to be in the room, it wasn't a problem, but if the child didn't cooperate then the parent had to step out.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 3:44 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • My daughter had a filling when she was 3, and because they had to put her out they had me stay in the waiting room. No worries, I trusted the place.

    Answer by prettyrayray at 3:47 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • she is probably having nightmares about it. i agree with the first person, find a new dentist, there is no reason you cant go back with a child that young. most dentist encourage it as a matter of fact. it helps to keep the kids calm and makes them feel safer. they could have cause her to have a dislike of dentists for the rest of her life. ide be mad as hell if someone told me i couldnt go back with my 3 year old for something like that.

    Answer by stephmiester87 at 4:09 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • yeah there is no way that i would let a dentist or any dr take my child without my supervision if they have a problem with it i wouldnt see them it would be time to find a new doc- havent u ever heard of those sickos that touch on people while theyre having the work done on their mouths?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • When it was time to start seeing a dentist (start around 18 months); our dentist told me that children should only see pediatric dentist. I thought that this was stupid, we taking her to our family doctor, not a pediatrician; why should this be any different. I was wrong; it was one of the best pieces of advice I have ever recieved. By the time she was five, she didn't want me to go with her.

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:33 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Okay to clarify my kids have gone there since they were all young, and he is a pediatric dentist, and his office and he are great with kids, don't get me wrong.........and I would not want to have to take them anywhere else. He is not looking to molest the child, and there are tons of staff around always so that is not what I am even considering as an option. There policy has become to not allow parents to go back because the kids tend to cooperate more. But for my dtr it did not work, she is initially shy until she gets to know you, which probably did not help, then she got upset cuz it was something new and she did not like it. And now I will insist on going back with her until she is a little older, because she is continuing to wet the bed since going last week. I think each kid is different and that needs to be considered when implementing treatment, regardless of their policy.

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 9:19 AM on Apr. 21, 2009