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I guess i'm looking for support

How many of you ladies have arguements with your spouse,BF, SO and had said things to each other that you didn't mean? ex. get out, not happy, didn't mean those things, i love you, etc. My BF and I got into a huge arguement today where he told me to find another place and we went back and forth and then told me that he says things he doesn't mean and that he doesn't want me and my daughter to leave and begged me to stay after i told him i was leaving by the eow and when he gets home today we won't be here. and he said he doesn't want us to go anywhere and to please be home when he gets there.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:50 PM on Apr. 20, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • when your mad, you do say alot of things just to regain control of an argument that you feel like your loosing. I would not leave, not his time...but id tell him "IF" you stay he had better NOT ever talk to you that way again, OR you really will leave. Make sure he knows that you DO have somewhere to go and that you are quite capable of taking care of yourself and you child WITHOUT him! Say it streight & clear so that he doesnt hear what he wants to hear... I would NOT marry him, until both of your resolve some respect boundries...I left my husband 10 times & returned with rules of respect...he finally caught on! LOL...would you say he was a slow learner...just dont back down, because once you make an allowance..it will always be an allowance. Good luck sweetie.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:06 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • What do you want to do?
    How often does this happen?
    Do you have a place to go? Maybe you should leave and let him think about how to speak to you in the future? Don't be a doormat.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 4:52 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • I think guys say alot of things they dont mean. My husband and I have arguments like that sometimes, and as soon as we say it we regret it. If it happens alot and theres arguing in front of your DD, then maybe you should consider leaving and not coming back. But if not and you really love him, and honestly believe him when he says he didnt mean it, I would stay. But make yourself very clear that you wont take threats like that anymore. And next time, You will leave!
    beingamomrocks1

    Answer by beingamomrocks1 at 4:55 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Well, I can say, for sure, that I do that. I do it because instead of dealing with the problem I would rather it just go away. Of course, after some thinking I realize that it would be a mistake for us to break up. I, also, am quick to jump to anger instead of listening to his side and trying to understand where he is coming from. That is a hard thing to do when the other person is not also. We had to go to some counseling just to set up some boundaries on how we expect the other person to talk. No accusatory statements, degrading..etc. That could be an option. Or just if you see that you are becoming too angry to really listen...just take a break from the fight. Take a breath and continue the discussion later. :)
    danielle836

    Answer by danielle836 at 4:58 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Leave and don't come back unless he asks you to marry him. Then you'll know if he really wants you in his life permanently.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:04 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • If you are not married than move him out!! Don't waist your time with someone that will not marry you.
    We never fight like that, NEVER. Thank God.
    "What goes around comes around"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:25 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • A lot of people say things in anger they don't really mean.......sounds like this is the case here.
    4kidsandadog

    Answer by 4kidsandadog at 6:51 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • he has speaker remorse...it happens, I am guilty! I've been telling my husband I didn't want to be with him for the last 10 years, and he still stays :) LOL just kidding. people always say things they don't mean, the key is admitting you made a mistake and learn how to forgive. Let him know it's hurtful and the next time he tells you that there will be no apologies accepted, you can't have an unstable relationship like that...it won't work. good luck
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 6:55 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

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