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He's lazy,useless,gets mad and defensive if I bring up the tiniest thing or ask for the tiniest bit of help

Okay my hubby is home all day on a seasonal lay-off. He does nothing and today I got my child support and went to the grocery store, had 8 bags of food to carry in. He sits there as I struggle to carry everything in and I get everything put away.Then he gets up and grabs the chips and dip I just bought and hints his truck is out of gas but doesn't ask for money directly.
He does nothing!! He was gone for 3 days fishing,came back and his son follows him asking for food. I explain nicely his son hasn't seen dad in 3 days and wants his attention. He blows up at me because he feels as long as he is in the house it is good enough. He's lazy and useless and I'm ready to leave!
I cannot express my feelings, wants, needs or even desires without him blowing up. He has maturity problems and is lazy plus he gets worse after his nightly 12 pk. I'm so angry I need to punch something! I want to talk, but he refuses to listen and gets mad.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:00 PM on Apr. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Was he like this when you married him? If not, maybe he's depressed from the layoff or something.

    I'm sorry that is really frustrating.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • We didn't live together before we got married. He one of those guys who is great before marriage and once he gets a wife it all changes. He thinks old school...that she should do it all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:12 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Is he like this when he is working? It sounds like maybe he is a little depressed. You should start seeing a marriage counselor, even if it's just by yourself. Maybe, he will come around and join you but if not, at least you will have some great tools for trying to make things better.
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 5:46 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Mine SO is in his seasonal lay-off too, and boy does it get annoying hey?
    I'm thinking with the fact there is no work for a bit, he's stressing.. just remove yourself and your son for the time being..pretend your hubby isn't home and go about business as usual. When he starts to get upset, just tell him you don't want to argue and when he's in a better mood to talk then you will too, and walk out of the room. I've done that a few times and it's made things alot easier to deal with. Pretending that he's not there opens his eyes too.
    DesignerMom0801

    Answer by DesignerMom0801 at 6:24 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • I would leave HE IS A LOSER a man that sit there and does not help you with gro.bags shows you he does not give a dam about you and is using you for the little money you get. GET OUT NOW!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:30 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • I do not think he is depressed he sounds like he is a Jerk!! You ladies have that wrong. I have friends with the hb is laid off and they help with kids and even make dinner, help their wifes.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:34 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • HE A LOOSER>>>>GET OUT
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:42 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • No, you make HIM leave.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:44 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Do you ever say these things to him? Maybe how you treat him is as much the problem as how he treats you. Very rarely is anyone ever fully in the right. Think about how you treat him and change yourself. I had to with my dh then he followed suit and we are quite happy now, even with that rough patch. just an idea.
    mama4Christ361

    Answer by mama4Christ361 at 6:53 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • I do try to tell him how i feel or what i want or need....His reply.."don't start with me" or :jesus fucking christ what do you want me to do"...yes these are his 2 common responses to anything i have to say or ask.
    I then withdrawl and he then asks what is wrong with me and I won;t talk to an asshole.sorry,i won't.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

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