Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I dread every other weekend when my husbands girls visit because he spoils them,is rude to me and "picks" on my children.

We have been married 5 years. We both have multiples,mine are 11, his are 17. We get along very well until his girls visit (every other weekend). They make good grades, they do not have jobs, they do not participate in sports, they do not date. My husband favors one of them over the other(he even admits this!). The daughter he does not favor has friends, the other one has only one. The daughter he favors is mean to her sister (name calling, belittling etc). They will not bathe unless I tell them to (because I can't stand the odor any longer). When I ask them to help around the house, they give very little effort and complain so my husband pays them. They criticize me behind my back to my kids. My husband turns into a mean person when they are visiting. He is sugary sweet to them and very critical to my kids. He often screams at us. HELP!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:54 PM on Apr. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Start leaving on the weekends, when he asks you why, tell him. If he wants to change, he will.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 7:57 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Oh and take your kids w/ you.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 7:57 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • This has been going on for five years? I agree with Karrie, leave for the weekend.
    mancosmomma

    Answer by mancosmomma at 8:21 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Get some mama bear power and defend your cubs from this kind of situation. Leave him with the visiting kids, don't tolerate any belittling, remember your children are learning how to be treated and how much they mean to mama by the way she values them, if you allow this man to treat them badly, that says a lot of where your priorities lay. Go away with your children and have a ball, they will appreciate the time they spent only with you.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 8:35 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • He began leaving a couple of years ago (if I pointed out the unfairness issue between my kids and his)and ultimately has had his own apartment. I know it's extremely complicated. We have been to counselors (3) yet things still have not been resolved.
    drivingmscrazy

    Answer by drivingmscrazy at 8:35 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Omg...I had the exact same problem with my ex...I stayed in my room the whole weekend. I even got kicked out of my bed because his 9 year old thumb sucking son slept with him. I feel for you. Thats a huge reason why he is my ex.
    Carli26

    Answer by Carli26 at 8:53 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • I'd be telling him to cut the crap or I'd take the above advice to leave on those weekends and make him pay for it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:57 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • I wouldn't stay with him. Kids learn a lot by what they see every day. Your kids could grow up and become like HIM!! I say get out now.
    GMR

    Answer by GMR at 9:17 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.