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Should i or shouldn't i????

My DH had a bad divorce and his ex has full custody of his 12yr old son. He gets to see him every other wkend. My SS is open with me and tells me how he really feels about things, and he seems to be able to be himself with me but when he's with his dad and other family members, he puts on an act.
For eg, he tells me things, he'd never tell others like, he says his aunt (who is fighting cancer and doesnt have much hair) looks like a 'retard' and says if i ever look like that he would never talk to me.
For his b'day he was expecting a laptop and when he got clothes instead he called his cousins/aunt cheap for giving him ugly shirts he's never wear.
He says means things about everyone, like he was punching a coke bottle saying 'look, this is my dad and this is how i want to hit him' since he didnt buy him a new Xbox game.
He only confindes in me of how he really feels. Should i let my DH know about what he says????


Asked by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Apr. 20, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Maybe tell your DH that his son confides in you, but you don't want to betray his trust. Talk him into getting his son in to see a psychologist. Let them work it out that way. You wouldn't be betraying anyone. These things he's saying, I don't think it's normal kid stuff, not with his parents having a bad divorce. He needs to talk with someone, and he has chosen you. But you have things invested in this, and you just aren't trained for this stuff. He needs to have someone that is neutral to talk to, someone that can help him make sense out of how he feels. I don't think this stuff will just go away as he grows up. It will just get worse.

    Answer by Buffie95 at 10:06 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Yes as its not nice for one and for two can lead to violence and other things. Let his dad know and if he gets mad at you then all well, he needs to know that words can hurt as well and threatening violence is never good nor is making fun of someone who is sick or who has a handicap.

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 8:45 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • no. He has to work through his adolescent issues. Telling dad would just upset dad and cause friction. Plus he'd never trust you again. You are the probably the only person he thinks he can talk to. Without you he might feel he has no one and will keep it all inside which isn't good. He'll work through it all. Take these talks as opportunties to discuss matters with him. Then maybe you can get folks to give him a gift certificate for a present or actually listen to the boy when he says what he wants. That's what kids want...for adults to listen and actually hear them. Maybe you could persuade dad to actually listen but not betray the confidence.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:49 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • He might be telling you these things to vent but also because subconsciously he wants you to tell his father how he feels. But if you do, you betray his trust. But he is still a child and some things need to be brought out in the open. Anger can fester.

    Answer by GMR at 9:11 PM on Apr. 20, 2009