Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My GF doesn't like my daughter

Hi all...I am in a lesbian relationship for the 1st time. She is wonderful, funny, intelegent and has a increadable insight. I don't know what to do about the fact that she can not stand my 13 yo daughter. She can see right through her and knows she in manipulative , selfish and sneaky. She has been this way for years. Anyway she doesn't really care to be around her what so ever. I can not ignore my kid although I too can now see the real girl. I am often torn between the two of them. I want my gf but am obligated to my daughter.
What to do???

Answer Question

Asked by momlez at 9:12 PM on Apr. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • Your DD should always come first IMO. No matter if she is a bad kid or not.


    Answer by Navymama at 9:14 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • I agree with navymama, tell her she better get with or get lost!

    Answer by Deidra08 at 9:16 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • your daughter needs to come first no matter how manipulative she is, if you dont you're gonna ruin any kind of relationship you have with her... and by the way shes not gonna come any easier to raise she's going through a phase trying to figure out who she is, she feels like no one understands her, all alone and no one to talk to.... remember how you were when you were a teen, you werent perfect your GF needs to realize the same thing I understand you wanna be with her but apparently shes not the one for you

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 9:18 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • if she's such a bad kid, then why are you just now seeing it? because your new gf has pointed out your daughter's 'flaws'? you, as her mother, should know whether or not your daughter is in need of discipline/instruction, before anyone else notices. perhaps your new gf has a few faults, as well..and one of them might be that she doesn't like competition from your 'first and only' obligation. your child comes first, honey. if there's a problem with her, you need to be the one to sort it out and find solutions to harmonic family life. then, when you have time for a gf, find one that understands you are a mother first, and a gf second.

    Answer by thehairnazi at 9:18 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Well get your daughter some help and tell your girl friend to deal with your daughter. If she loves and cares for you then she will except your daughter no matter what. How can you be torn between them IT'S YOUR CHILDREN not matter what her flaws. Thats your blood how could you even think about be torn between them???!!!!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Your daughter should definitely come first . And you GF should support you in dealing with your daughter, not try to divide you.

    Answer by mamaada at 9:20 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • In any relationship your child should come first. Why can't your gf help you to get your dd's attitude straightened out? Actually, what have you done to straighten out your dd's attitude? Who's the parent anyway? Sounds to me like the issue is less with your gf or your dd, but with you. Maybe you need to evaluate your life and your priorities.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • You are a complete fool to believe that a relationship like this can last Hon. Your daughter is part of you, the other chic is not. Ditch her before you ruin you and your daughter's life. Your daughter is 13 for the love of God.. she is a child. You whatever friend is crap. See it now, before she ruins your life. If someone really cares for you and loves you, they will accept your family. GET OUT NOW!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • Your child should ALWAYS come first tell your GF to hit the sidewalk. Your a mother first and maybe you need to realize that. To me it sounds like you want to be a girlfrind first and put your daughter on the back burner. Your daughter needs you more then ever right now FORGET the girl be a mom...

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:25 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

  • That should be a no-brainer IMO.

    Answer by LadyEb at 9:33 PM on Apr. 20, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.