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I'm begging

As I sit here I am so confused on where to start. I was living what I thought to be a Very happy life. I have it all. The 3 beautiful kids, nice home etc... My husband works 2 hours away to make the better income we can't get in our town. On March 25th we go to Las Vegas for 5 days. Great time, until we get to the airport. I use his phone ( left mine at home ) checked ( or tried) to check my email only to have an odd one pop up. I am so lame I assume it's spam. I try again to get to mine but it was like a higher power wanted me to see this account. It was a account my husband set up, I knew nothing about, duh!!! It hits me. He had signed up for Fling.com. He had talked to other girls and they both sent nude photos. I'm just sick. I'm upset I found out the way I did. I'm hurt by the lies. The stab is HOW much he claims I was great, and he still could do this. I'm not the same person I was 3 weeks ago. I was so blissfully unawar

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:48 AM on Apr. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • some men are not able to control themselves ! He is a twean still not a man! Church Baptist Attend with him,mens group there.
    2mothershelpers

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 12:52 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • You are dealing with shock. Keep in mind, he's dabbled but hopefully not done anything more. You should try to communicate with him about why he'd do such a thing. Do you want to stay with him and he with you? He sounds like he's going through something but honestly, I'm mad as can be for you. I'd like to just smack him. I'm so sorry. Try to sort out your feelings and then address them and decide how you want to handle the betrayal. : (
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Continue, I'd like to think it was just a reassurance ( I still got it crap) my husband does still have it, he beautiful. I just don't know if he's beautiful in my eyes anymore. My question is even with all the "Im sorry" " I will never do it again" " I can't live without you" I still can't get passed the how I can go from thinking everything is great, trusting him 100%, to nothing???? How do you get that back. I'm a pretty women, good mom, clean house, sex anytime, supportive. What the hell else could I have given. I was in love, passionate and there for him. I guess it's that's they saying " show me a pretty girl and I'll show you a guy that's sick of f@@@@@@ her" that's how I feel. If he at least gave me a reason??? Who hurts someone like this?? Anyone else understand or just a uplifting word. Anything!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Umm, does he know you know about it? If not, call him on it. Or you could create your own account on there and catch him at his own game. My hubby and I haev an account on there, but we both know about it. I say, call him on it.
    -Ashley
    spiritguide_23

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 12:57 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • I would have sent a picture of me back and said BACK OFF 1/2 of everything he owns is mine.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:00 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • You are in the unfortunate position of choosing whether or not to take him back or accept his actions and move forward for yourself/family. That said, there's no reason you can't move out and stay with someone to drive your point home, preferably at The Ritz! Seriously, it will take a LONG time to get back what you believed you had. It can be done. My concern is if it happened once, will it happen again. The good news is that you are in total control of the situation really. I think you need time to figure it out and scare the hell out of him, thinking you may leave. Whatever point you make, don't let him forget it.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 1:02 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • anon at 10pm, good point.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 1:04 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • He knew the second I gave him his phone back in the airport and switched my seat. This has been dealt with. It's the aftermath. I'm just not dealing well. I already screamed, fought, not gonna lie I smacked him once he gave me the truth. It's been 3 weeks of me just feeling broken and lost. I'm on Cafe Mom a lot but to embarrased to ask anyone. I just went from great-bad and it really came out of no where. I need help. I'm in counseling. 75% of me wants my forever with him, it's the 25% that just won't go away. I always said I'd run out the door, but the pain in my 10 year Olds eyes the week I stayed away killed me. I had a good life, I can truly say " why me". He made a mistake, I get that it but the man I married would never hurt me like this... Is it just to easy and tempting? It's not like I haven't been asked or approached. I just said NO.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:09 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • MEN ARE NEVER PLEASE ON WHAT WE GIVE THEM
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • I don't think you can put a time limit on this for yourself, nor do you have to make a hasty decision as to what you want. Maybe you try for a year and decide then? At least you could say you really tried for yourself, your kids and even him. That 25 percent is the not knowing and the betrayal that has left a scar. It's too soon. This is very hard because you can't make him pay forever but you'll have to forever live with the betrayal and that's the rub. You sound like a bright, attractive, got it all together kind of girl. This does happen to people so don't carry a scarlet letter of your own. You have to work through this and keep up with the therapist, it's a good idea. Really, you just can't deal with him doing what he did because it calls into question his honestly, loyalty, etc. But yes, the internet is so easy, tempting, we all want a moment of recapturing our youth. Is it an excuse? Only you decide.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 1:17 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

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