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Getting Married in 2 Days...Fiancee Doesn't Want My Dad There

FYI just kind of venting, but will gladly take any input. I don't really understand why my fiancee doesn't want my dad at the wedding. I mean it's too late anyways I guess because he is coming all the way from LA tomorrow. But I am just trying real hard to get it. My fiancee told me that he just wanted people there that have been there for us our whole lives which only really includes him, me, and both our moms. My grandmother, brother, dad, and his brother, and mother are going so there is a total of like 10 of us. But he didn't even want them there. So it's just annoying.

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Bamzakarat

Asked by Bamzakarat at 12:51 AM on Apr. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,054 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • umm i don't want to sound like a bi*** but its your father not his. and if your father has never done anything to your fiance why should it be his decision. i would seriously suggest talking to him in depth about this before you get married. if hes that upset over that than what else is going to happen in your marriage?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • If he was invited then he should be able to attend. Tell him to suck it up and deal with it. It's just one day. He has the rest of his life to have you all to himself. Give dad a part of this one great celebration for his daughter.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:45 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Since your Dad is already invited, then I think you all need to suck it up, and he needs to be civil to him, even if he can't be nice. However, maybe he's not doing this because he wants to be a jerk - maybe his thinking is that by having him there, it's disrespecting your mom, or maybe he's afraid it's going to cause problems with other family members, or that you're going to be stressed by it. Or even that maybe he's afraid that, after so long NOT being a real part of your life, your wedding would end up becoming all about him (your Dad), seeing him again, how long it's been, what's been going on with him, the rest of you, etc, and would end up taking the spotlight away from you on "your day", kwim?

    Anyway, I don't mean that you should try to uninvite him or anything like that, just that maybe, misguided as it is, your df has good intentions for not wanting him there.

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:21 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • cont

    I would ask him why he feels this strongly about it now, or I would just try to give him the benefit of the doubt that he has a good reason, but still insist that, regardless of his intentions, you want your dad there and he's already been invited. So, for all practical purposes, it's a done deal, your dad's coming...
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:22 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • I FULLY understand not getting along with in laws. It's for 1 day.. His little girls wedding day. Your soon to be husband really needs to think of you instead of himself and suck this up. Who cares if he hasn't always been there. He's there now and this is a big thing for everyone not just your fiancee. Good luck! I would be furious and I already know that I will go through something similar with my dad if I ever get married.
    jackiec7707

    Answer by jackiec7707 at 4:40 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • It's unreasonable. Your dad is coming and that's that. My DH MET my mom and dad when they arrived 3 days before our wedding.... that's just how it goes with some families.... frankly your fiancés attitude is not conducive to building relationships and sounds a little juvenile (no offense). If we all only invited or allowed the people who are the most supportive and always there , then weddings would be very small in general. If you're only gonna invite the ones that were 'up your butt' then you can probably expect to have limited relationships with everyone else in your life, not that your obligated to invite a lot of people, but that you're honored to have them witness the event. There's a difference between a small wedding and an elitist event. Sounds like someone is trying to make a point.... your wedding is not the time to make that point. Fiancé needs to keep the point-making to himself for now.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 6:25 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • HE SOUNDS LIKE A CONTROL FREAK, BETTER NIP IT IN THE BUTT NOW BECAUSE IT WILL GET WORSE AFTER MARRIAGE.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:06 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Sounds like you have a REAL lovely life to look forward to with a spoiled, ungrateful, insensitive, self indulgent, pampered, ridiculous drama king. Good luck with that. I'd think twice before I walked down the isle with a selfish pig like that!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Sounds like a shitty person to me. God, my hubby can be a tad bit controlling from times to times. But when it came to our wedding he allowed me to do whatever I wanted. Be thankful that your dad is attending the wedding. My biological father NEVER showed up, due to his "wife". I will never get over it. If you "soon to be husband" has this big of a deal with your dad attending your wedding, what will it hold for when you 2 decide on having children? What will he be like with your dad when he wants to see your children? What about family gatherings? Holidays? Boy, sounds like a crappy situation..
    ali_1107

    Answer by ali_1107 at 10:04 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • He needs to stop being so selfish, this is a big day for everyone. Especially for a father to give his daughter away. trust me I completely regret not having my dad at either of my weddings, due to only being at the courthouse, due to finances. But I agree with the other comment, if he is being this selfish now, how is your marriage going to be???? I have been married to 2 scorpios and they are very selfish, and I have had to put them in their place before, it may not be fun, but sometimes men are still boys and like being spoiled. So either he deals with your dad coming or not. His decision not yours. I hope you the best of luck with everything.
    ltevis

    Answer by ltevis at 10:35 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

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