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Is it normal for the fiencee to become unattracted to you because of the pregnacy?

Me and my fiencee are living togeather and we used to have a great sex life and he used to tell me he loves me all the time. I was 3 months when we moved in togeather. Now I am 7 months and he seems like he doesn't even want me around. I've tried talking to him but he avoids the subject. What can i do?

 
Jey6660

Asked by Jey6660 at 1:14 AM on Apr. 21, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • I was with my boyfriend for 6 years when I got pregnant. We had a really good relationship. Well once I got pregnant he hated me out of no where. Wanted to be with anyone but me. I was a bitch. unattractive. Everything. I was actually a lot nicer when I was pregnant and I couldn't understand. He got a young girlfriend and moved out. He ended up coming around when I was in the hospital in labor and we are together now. It really sucked and I still don't understand why he did that to me.
    jackiec7707

    Answer by jackiec7707 at 4:35 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • maybe he is afraid that doing something with you would hurt the baby. just approach him one night and ask him, nicely w/o accusation if he still finds you attractive, and if he says yes, then just say oh well i wondered b/c we haven't had sex and i'm getting an i dont want you around vibe. try not to sound crazy or accusing b/c then he will get defensive. or maybe you are so emotional you are taking little things out on him, or nagging/attacking him for little things and don't even realize it and that has turned him off? (i'm not saying you have, but i've done it and not realized it so...)
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 1:17 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • his life is changing and will never be the same again and he knows this. he could be nervous or scared or both. he doesn't know what to expect. and it could be that he does not find you attractive, which is not too uncommon. some men just don't like prego women. give him time and space. not too much though...you don't think he might be seeing anyone do you? there are signs to look out for...

    but mostly i think he's freaking out...
    nairda

    Answer by nairda at 1:18 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • my now x husband used to move out every time I started showing and moved back in the day I came home with the baby. Some men are just like that.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:39 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • No, it's not normal, it's asshat behavior, so talk with him (nicely) about what his problem might be, reassure him that you guys won't hurt the baby by getting it on and hear what he has to say.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 8:01 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • My husband was always wanting sex before I got pregnant, he has backed off w/ this pregnancy and I asked him if he was just grossed out by me. He explained to me that he realizes that I am uncomfortable, and didn't think that I was too interested in having sex, and plus the belly is in the way, and makes it harder. That may be it, who knows. If I am in the mood and approach him, hes good w/ it, won't turn me down, but this is just one thing that he doesn't approach w/ me. Some men you just can never tell what goes thru their head. Try and talk to him about it to make you feel better.
    Tiffany237

    Answer by Tiffany237 at 8:25 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • I wondered the same with each of my pregnancies.... Once I have the baby and I get back in shape my hubby goes back to the way he was too! LOL
    mominbolt

    Answer by mominbolt at 8:49 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Nope, not normal.

    Some men find pregnant women very sexy (mine is one of them), and others are weirded out by it.

    My husband didn't want to have sex with me when I got pregnant with our first because he thought he could hurt the baby. It took me dragging him with me to the doctor and getting her to tell him that it was okay for him to do it.

    We had sex as much as I was comfortable with with both of them.

    But no, I would consider it being an asshole. No matter what you look like, he should still love YOU and be attracted to that if nothing else.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 9:10 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • MOST men are turned on by their wife's/finacee's pregnancy. It's like a badge of honor ("I did that! Ain't I cool!" kind of thing). Those that are not are jerks. They are the one's who are more concerned about themselves than they are the baby or thier SO. They are the one's who are more likely to be self-centered and demanding. Be careful. Maybe try to get hit to go with you to the doctor, hopefully it is something simple like he is just worried about hurting the baby. But it may be a warning of thing to come, that he is too self-centered to care about others (like you or the baby) and he may be prone to jealousy of the baby when the baby (once born) takes more of your time away from him. Try to get him to talk about it, nicely and calmly. Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 AM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • He's an insensitive pig and you can tell him I said so.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 AM on Apr. 21, 2009