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i dont know what to do (no bashing please)

my dd is 2 now. i havent said anything but since she was born, i just dont want to be around her, i dont feel that i love her like i should and i sometimes feel such hatred towards her. i ask for someone to take her even for an hour for her sake but no one cares, they tell me i had her so i can get over it. i always think im going to hurt her. ive even considered 72 hour lock up in the near mental health facility but then there would be no one to take care of my dd. i get alot of shit from my family about how im worthless and im a fiance is around but he works so much that its like hes not there. and i work too. when i work she goes to day care but they cant keep her for more than 8 hours. could this be ppd or depression? or anxiety maybe? i really need help...i just dont know what to do.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:00 PM on Apr. 21, 2009 in Health

Answers (12)
  • It sounds like PPD, I had it and my cusins wife too, don't feel bad about it, your not a bad mom, you should see a doc, i8f you ever want to talk I'm here

    Answer by NicholeAT at 1:02 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • I would really seek counseling. Have you talked to your fiance about this? I'm sorry your family talks to you like that. But I really urge you to seek help.

    Answer by vicki136 at 1:03 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • i would say yea get over it but im not going to because youve heard that answer and i dont know you to say that but maby you should geta phyisical and ask your doctor what he can reccomened? And justs say to your self that you DO LOVE your baby and that shes just a baby and think things like that or try and think of the things that always makes you smile like her smile or a puçouty face she mad e anything like that to warm you up.

    Answer by chukuku at 1:03 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Okay the question is was she a rape baby or anything like that? PPD usually comes on after the baby is born within the first few weeks. Have you always felt this way? If so you should maybe consider finding a friend or someone who will take her for a little bit for you. Have you tried counseling to figure out where all this is coming from? Were you pushed away and neglected as a child? If you think you may hurt her you need to find someone to take her or call cps and have them put her in a temporary home so you can get the help you need. They will and can do this so you can get a evaluation and take parenting classes.

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 1:05 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • i think you really need to call your doctor, right now and get help. if you are feeling this way you are depressed, or still have postpartum depression and need to get the help you need. if your fiance is in the picture and you have to go to a "lockup" for 72 hours, than that forces him to have to watch her for that period of time. as for your "friends and family" i wouldn't reccommend talking to them about it, they obviously are clueless and don't care how you feel or about your daughter. i'm sorry if this is harsh, but hun, you really need to get help soon. if you are thinking about hurting your daughter than its not a safe enviornment for you or for her and you need to get the help you need in order to make it one.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 1:05 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Sweetie, you should get some help. I don't think it's normal to feel that way, but it doesn't mean you're a bad person, you just need some help. Look in your local phone book and see if there are any family services that can help you, or try calling local churches to ask for help. Please try to find some help, you are struggling with something really difficult.

    Answer by CLRief at 1:05 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • First you need to go to you ob-gyn, and tell her exactly what you've said here. What you're feeling sounds like Post-partum depression, and the first thing you need to understand is that "IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT." So many women suffer from this after giving birth. Sometimes for a year or more, and it's perfectly ok to ask for help. You may need some form of medication for depression and to help get your hormones leveled back out, and maybe you could use a little counseling -- so you have someone to talk to who won't judge you. Don't feel ashamed or embarrassed by this. The only reason for you to feel ashamed is if you keep your feelings to yourself and don't seek treatment. I believe you love your baby wholeheartedly, it's just going to take you time to overcome this PPD. And when you do, you can be an advocate for other women as well. Good Luck and God Bless You

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 1:07 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • if you live in southwest Ohio I would give you my number and you can call me to take her for a while, so you can settle down. I did not get nearly so bad as this but when I got stressed when mine were driving me crazy i would remove myself from the situation. take a break. Put DD in her room surrounded by fun toys and you watch tv, drink some tea, take a bath, read a book--- you do what you have to do to remove yourself. most importantly as soon as you even get that twinge that you may want to hurt your baby you set her down and GET AWAY. You are not beyond help or you wouldn't have cared enough to ask us here on CM.

    Even now, mine are 4 and 6 we have quiet time if we are home all day- (I am a student so it happens sometime sbut not always) so I know that there is a light at the tunnel, after lunch even if they don't nap they will spend an hour or so in their room (sometimes they stay longer if their movie is still on)

    Answer by LuckyClown at 1:16 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Yes it is somekind of depression make sure you go see your doctor right away asap.
    You don't want to go to jail for doing something you could have prevented. I wish I could help you out...I would.
    First things first go see your doctor then come home and love your child just hold her.
    It could be everyday life that is wearing you down, you might need to take the day off to just unwind and be with yourself or get away for awhile there are ways just do it. To tell you the truth alot of people go through some kind of something in their lives and get through it just like you will keep a straight head and everything will be alright atleast let your daughter know you love her by spending time with her while you get some help GL Life is not that bad hang in there.

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 1:21 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • I really think that you should talk to somebody about this. Have you ever been told about postpartum psychosis? It's not something that happens to many people. But someone close to me has went through this after having her baby. She had to be put on medications to help her. I dont think it would be PPD anymore, because this normally goes away before the baby turns 1 year of age. I just would really really suggest talking to someone who has a medical degree. I hope everything works out for you.

    Answer by ali_1107 at 2:16 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

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