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Does anyone worry that their child wont be successful?

I am so worried that my son will not be successful. He is 15 now and does OK in school but does not seem to have much interest in anything. I worry about him so much sometimes it makes me ill. What are your thoughts?

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dillonsma

Asked by dillonsma at 2:50 PM on Apr. 21, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 5 (81 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I am not all that worried. Success means different things to different people. I want my son to be happy more than successful. He is an intelligent, independent child and I hope that continues as he grows older. He know what he wants to go to college for and he will be successful at that. Your son is 15, there is plenty of time for him to decide what he wants to do. The first 2 years of college are general classes anyway. Give him time, he will be ok.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 2:54 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • My kids are too young for me to fret over their success much, but my husband and I both feel that for them to be successful, they do what will cause them to lead a happy and fulfilled life, not what WE think.
    Mangy_Momma

    Answer by Mangy_Momma at 3:09 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Personally I think that no one should ne doing bad in school unless they are slow, or have probelms learning. He is probably just being a lazy boy like all of them are. Find something interesting he likes, maybe a few things, and tell him he can go to college for that. Also let him know how hard it is to live without a good education. Show him what bills are like and that soon he will have to pay them. Get a counseler to talk to him about it. See if there is anything wrong, maybe he has some problems. Show him that school can be fun, and that the better he does now, the easier life will be later.
    MammaBella

    Answer by MammaBella at 4:28 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • What do you mean by successful? I want my kids to be loved by a wonderful woman and love them back, have a steady job, take care of their children and be happy. To me that is successful. Anything more than that is a plus and of course I'd be happy. Your son sounds like a lot of 15 year old boys- he doesn't sound like he has problems to me....lmao Why if a kid does OK in school and is lazy that people think they have a problem? My son is 17 and when he was 15, he was so dang lazy (most of time) and does OK in school but is far from having problems. Kids mature from one year to another. My son is NOT the same person he was just 2 years ago when he was 15. You'll see a big difference as he matures.

    BrendaMomOf3

    Answer by BrendaMomOf3 at 12:14 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Sure, I think we all worry about that sometimes. Remember though...our definition of successful might be different than others. I think that as he matures and grows, he will find his niche. Just keep encouraging him to go after what he wants. Kids dont see the importance of school just yet, but they will. My daughter doesnt see it but shes making all a's in honors classes. Is that a sure sign she will be successful to MY standards? Not really. I hope she does whats in her heart and does well at it. Its probably not going to be what I would choose for her, but as long as she does the best she can, I will be happy;.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:10 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Unless he's getting in trouble he's doing fine. My son is 16 with some pretty severe mental health issues and I definitely am concerned for his "sucess." I wonder if he'll ever even find someone to love or be able to get and keep a job. Not to mention his recent obsession with Axe products. Is there such a thing as Axe overload?
    krisr169

    Answer by krisr169 at 10:51 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Define success. Do you want him to be "Bill Gates"? Do you want him to have a job, get married, have a family, and be safe, healthy, and happy with a sense of morality and values? Do you want him to have your success or his?
    jesse123456

    Answer by jesse123456 at 11:59 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I have the same concern about my 15 year old stepson. I gave him a little project to understand him better. I had him write down 20 things that he wants to accomplish or do in his lifetime on one side of a paper. He had a hard time writing them. He put down have friends, travel, get a girlfriend, and have money. Then I asked him to write on the other side five things he is doing right now to get those things. The only thing he put down was...doing his homework.

    I asked my bio son who is also 15 to do the same project. His answers....go to college or trade school, get a job I love to do, fall in love with a great girl, own a house, be happy and proud of everything I've accomplished and many more. The other side said things like...getting good grades now, keeping good people around me, focusing on doing the right thing for the future.

    Worried about my stepson because he doesn't seem interested in anything either.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • Nope, not at all... I was the "trouble" kid. I just squeeked by with grades, got kicked out and locked up, had sex and did drugs...

    Today, I'm clean, married, and a successful business owner - at 25... Nope, I don't worry. My kids will land on their feet. It's in the blood. They are being raised by parents that aren't going to bail them out every time trouble comes up... And in the end, I know they will be self sufficant and self reliant.

    After all that's the point of having kids - to ready them for real life.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 4:24 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • I like Mamabella's answer and the anonymous posting about the kid accomplishment list (I'm going to have my kids do it), but I also want to express my feelings about some other postings that say that they just want their kids to be happy. Of course we all want our children to be happy. It would be better if they could be happy and financially successful or at least be able to take care of themselves. My ex-husband and his brother grew up with a loving mother who just wanted them to be "happy" when they grew up. I know she meant well, but they have been through multiple jobs that haven't satisfied them and now both brothers live with their mother and they are 38 and 43 years old! Gotta be careful with the "just want them to be happy" because that can turn into lazy or not fully independent. Encouragement to succeed is not a bad thing as long as it's done with love and compassion.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

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