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how to let my mother- in law know i dont want her there during birth?

My mother in law abandoned her son (my husband) and his sister when he was 7 and barley talked to him anytime after that until we met in highschool. now shes calling me every week checking on the baby and she buys stuff for the baby all the time which is great.. but she invited herself to my ultrasound and she keeps telling everyone ow great it is going to be when i give birth and shes there????? i tryied telling her thats a private moment for me nad my husband.. but she keeps crying and saying how its always been a dream of hers to be there when her kids have kids... how do i let her know that i want the moment my daughter is born to be between me and my husband.. without ruining the relationship between her and my husband??? im afraid that if i tell her know or if he tells her no then she wont want to be around him anymore? im really confused about this issue and would appreciate any advice?

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ChloeMom0709

Asked by ChloeMom0709 at 4:33 PM on Apr. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Don't tell her when you get to the hospital.
    prettyrayray

    Answer by prettyrayray at 4:34 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Well you can always tell her the hospital doesn't allow more then one person in the room. Or just tell her you don't want to hurt her feelings but you don't want any one else there besides your husband. Maybe tell her she can be the first to hold the baby (after you and your husband of course).

    Wistful

    Answer by Wistful at 4:35 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Just tell her the truth...you don't want her in there.
    My MIL was a cow about it but I didn't give in.
    If she keeps harping on it have your DH tell her that you guys won't even call her when you go into labor and she will only get the call after the baby is born.

    Stand up for yourself now because she will never quit until you do.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 4:35 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • If you speak to the nurse at the hospital they can kick her out for you. That way you're not the bad guy. Best of luck
    vicki136

    Answer by vicki136 at 4:36 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Just to add...if she tries to push her way in make sure to tell the nurse that only your DH is allowed in and to kick anybody that wants in out.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 4:36 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • First off, she's being manipulative, trying to make you feel guilty. Be true and honoring to yourself and your wishes. This is your child not hers. Tell her no, and and if she pushes it, tell her no again. Let your nurse at the hospital know too. They are good at clearing people out!
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 4:38 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • I agree, Don't give in and tell her you don't want her there, and tell the hospital staff that you don't want her there, they will usher her out if you don't want her there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Oh by the way, it's your body. It's none of her business. To be in the room when a child is born is an honor and a privilege, not a right or an imposition....
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 4:39 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • she will get over it. I was lucky that my finance's grandmother died before I gave birth and only family was allowed to the will hearing so I wasn't allowed to go and spent the whole day alone and pregnant. I was able to pull the "well this event is for family only.. and last I checked we aren't related" card. it sounds cruel, but she had me call her "mom" then pulled that crap on me. I was hurt. still am.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Tell her your doctor said no one but the husband. She won't argue with him and you are off the hook
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:51 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

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