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boys driving me crazy

I have 5 and 8 yr old boys. They argue and fight with each other several times a day which ends up with them both being separated in their rooms. I cant take them anywhere by myelf without my husband because they misbehave. It is really driving me crazy. We miss out on so many events because I dont want to take them anywhere. What can I do? I have tried to be a strict parent and stay on top of their behaviors and several people have said its crazy that "my" kids act this way considering the kind of parent I am. If I am the least bit side tracked by something and not paying attention they start chasing each other in the store, arguging, doing something other then what I told them to do. Its just beginning to be real frustrating with my dh working so much and it just being the boys and myself. It makes me feel like a prsioner in my own home. Then my 8 r old is constantly in trouble at school but has great grades. Help!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:17 PM on Apr. 21, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • Let them know ahead of time that if they act up when they get home its straight to bed. No toys, games, tv or anything else. Set up the rules ahead of time so they know what you expect and if they act up then snatch them up in the store and take them to the bathroom and remind them of the rules. My mom call the store security on me and my brother for being bad and they took us back into the room and it scared the holy hell out of us and from then on we were good.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 5:19 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • I cant help but think of them when they grow up telling storys to their wives ETC. about how bad they were growing up. How they made their Mom crazy. IDK - Boys will be boys...... :)
    bristle3kids

    Answer by bristle3kids at 5:30 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • i always feel on edge when we are out. feeling like i need to hurry and get done what i need to do and then trying to make sure they arent acting up also. its just so annoying because at 5 and 8 they know the consequences. my 8 year old is fine on his own but put them together and all hell breaks loose no matter where they might be. At their aunts-home-holidays. I just dont get why they argue and fight so much. We are always telling them beside us their parents they only have each other but they could care less it seems/
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:30 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • yeah thats true. boys will be boys and boy do they drive me crazy. im hoping as they mature it will get a little better. like i said my 8 yr old does great when its just the two of us. maybe i have been so strict that when they see me slipping which has been a quite a bit lately since i have been a mom 8 yrs-but maybe when they see me slipping they are plotting to do this and that. just seeing a chance to run crazy. idk.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:45 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • My gosh, you sound exactly like me. My boys are also 8 & 5, and I literally could have written your post. I have recently found that if I put them at opposite ends of the couch, no talking, no touching, no moving at all, except to get up for the bathroom. If they move, if they talk, I just snap my fingers at them. I tell them when I sit them down (not so much now, but at first, b/c now they now) that if they move/talk/touch, they go to bed. No matter the time, 2pm, 8pm, anytime, straight to bed. One time going to bed at 7:30 they figured out I meant business. I've started asking, when they start up, if I need to put them on the couch, and it seems to settle them down. It might just be the novelty of it right now, but it helps. If nothing else, it does give me a few minutes of mostly peace and quiet. Good luck!
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 5:47 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • oops...that should be now they KNOW. Sorry.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 5:48 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • It is definitely time for reward charts. Kids this age react so much better to positive reinforcement. Choose, with each of your boys five daily goals. For example, brushing teeth twice a day; getting ready for bed without being told; not fighting with your brother. When they have a whole week where they met every goal, they get a prize (we used to stock up on fast food kid meal toys, though never bought the food). We used reward charts from 4 until 11.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:32 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Don't let them see that they are getting to you. They could be ganging up on you because they know it drives you crazy. My friends mom got her 2 kids boxing gloves and let them go at it. They can tell you stories about how horrible they were to each other. They now get along great. They did before middle school. A reward chart may also work.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:41 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

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