Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What would you do? Let it go? Or stand my ground?

Ok so we are planning on moving out of state in the next year or so. We currently live in Florida but are looking to move to Georgia or Alabama. Now I am the one who wants to move to GA and DH wants AL. I'm willing to go to AL but DH wants to move back to the same town he lived in growing up. I told him I don't mind living in the STATE of Alabama but I do not want to live within a 50mile radius of where he grew up because there is this girl who DH and her were... whatever you are in 6th grade... what is it? Holding hands?? *rolls eyes* ANYWAY they had always kept in touch which again is fine if all she wanted was friendship but this girl has made our life a NIGHTMARE she harrassed me while we were dating. Made up lies to make DH mad at me (never worked but the intention was still there) and MANY MANY things in between and even had her mom call us at 1am on our WEDDING night. She BEGGED DH not to marry me and I know that -CONT-

 
theheartbaby

Asked by theheartbaby at 7:46 PM on Apr. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I`m sorry, you may not like what I have to say, but I think you should go with your husband´s wishes. If he feels he will be better able to take care of you and your children in his own hometown due to his connections, then he has a good point. As for this ex of his, you need to decide whether or not you trust your husband or not to protect his family from the drama and if you can trust yourself not to let such a childish person affect you so much. Let the little b$tch and her mom text away. It´s just going to further validate everyone´s opinion that she´s a psycho. If you are certain that your DH loves you and is devoted, it shouldn´t matter so much. Change your number, avoid contact. If she starts harrassing you, you can take legal action. Let your DH know that you will support his choice, but that you expect him to handle the situation if things get out of hand.
    moniquinha

    Answer by moniquinha at 8:26 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • -CONT- I dont have to worry about DH or anything but she still lives in this town and the thought of seeing her on a regular basis (she still hangs out with DH's old friends and it's a SMALL town) makes me want to throw up on myself! The way I try to explain it to DH is why put the drama smack in the middle of our lives? I think it's like putting raw steak in front of a starving lion and telling him "Now don't eat that" This girl would have a field day. But DH says that since he knows people who work for the city up there (Thats what he does down here) it would be easier to get a job. Am I wrong for being strict in saying No Way No How to moving there or should I just let it go? Alabama isn't my first choice anyway I'd rather be in GA but I'm willing to give that up and move to AL just not that area... Any advice?
    theheartbaby

    Answer by theheartbaby at 7:51 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Can I ask why you wanna move in the first place?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:51 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • I wouldn't move there but it curious that he wants to so bad...and he keeps in touch with her...and he knows she stills lives there...and he would be around her...and he knows you don't like her...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:53 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • i would stand my ground. maybe if you guys live an hour out of town, he can still work there but not have to see her all the time, and then you don't have to see her while running errands? i'm sorry i don't have that problem we want to live at least an hour or two away from where both of us grew up so our families can't just drop in.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 7:53 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • You sure can :) I HATE South Florida. The majority of people are rude. It's crowded. Too expensive to be first time home buyers and not live in the ghetto, and as much as I live and appreciate my parents for letting us live here to save up I do want to be in our own home. I've always wanted to live in GA or TN. South FL (IMO) is not a safe place to raise children. And my parents are willing to move to wherever we go because they were planning on moving until I got pregnant and stayed to be close to our son. Everyone wants out of Florida it's just a matter of where we are going.
    theheartbaby

    Answer by theheartbaby at 7:56 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Stand your ground. He should not put you in an awkward situation like that.
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 7:57 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • He wants to move back bc that's where he grew up and ALL his friends still live there. He has not had contact with her since a few months before our wedding when she told him to choose between either her or me and he said "You know it's sad bc Michelle has really tried to be nice to you and I can see you are never going to grow up. I hope you have a nice life but count me out" We know she still lives there bc her mother (Just as psycho as her daughter) txts him all the time (Since he doesn't answer their phone calls) telling him "____ really misses you" Or "We're still waiting for you to wake up and realize your meant to be with ____" etc... PSYCHO. We have done everything from changing his number to trying to block their numbers. DH little sis stays in touch w her bc they both have a hatred for me I can't explain bc I don't understand why or what I've done to them? I feel like I'm in HS again dealing w this and even when I
    theheartbaby

    Answer by theheartbaby at 8:02 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • ignore her and try to block her out she will go to great lengths to shove her face in front of me. By emails or 'anon' phone calls... And if she can do this when we live in seperate states I don't want to think about what she'd do if we lived in the same town.. DH has done nothing wrong and honestly this whole situation has nothing to do with him wanting to see her In fact we are going up to AL in July to the town he grew up in and when he called the guy we are going to stay with he even saia... No begged this guy not to tell ANYONE we were coming bc he didn't want ___ to find out. I trust DH he just doesn't understand why I let one person determine where we live.
    theheartbaby

    Answer by theheartbaby at 8:06 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • I wouldn't move back. I'm not saying your DH isn't trustworthy, but he doesn't need to put himself in that kind of position.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:20 PM on Apr. 21, 2009