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I thought this is what I wanted......now I'm not so sure. What should I expect? Has anyone been through this?

My DH & I have an EXTREMELY rocky marriage from the very beginning. Last night was the final straw & he says that he plans to file for divorce. I thought that this is what I wanted. Now, I am confused & hurt & torn. IMPO, there is nothing to save our marriage, there has just been too much that has gone on in our marriage. Has anyone ever been through a divorce? What should I expect? How do I deal with this? Does anyone have any advice or words of wisdom? Thank you in advance.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on Apr. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • take a break and see things clearly before being drastic. Separations often work to help matters. yes I have divorced. It's emotionally draining. It is financially difficult. It can be lonely and you sit there wondering did I do the right thing? Think it through before hand. Just take a break for a few months then decide
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:38 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • I am not going to fight him if this is what he wants. I can not change his mind. I personally feel like he has been checked out of our marriage for some time now & last night was just the last straw. He says that he is going in to work tomorrow & talking to a military lawyer (he is in the service) & will file for divorce. I thought that this is what I also wanted but now I am scared.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:41 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • I wish you the best is all I can give you! I am sorry you have to go through this. Love is hard and marriage makes it even harder to love but look at your troubles this way; the more you go through the closer you will be to one another if you can power through it. I've recommended this book many times to mommies including my mom and have done it myself. Try reading "The Love Dare" before you sign any papers. Let hubby know you want to give it one last straw and if things dont get better then you can both agree to quit. This book teaches you how to fall in love again and respect each other's as individuals! Good luck I hope you try it for YOU!
    Bugsmommy1908

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 8:42 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • I do not believe that there is any love in our marriage anymore. I do not wish any harm to him, but I do not feel that I love him & I do not believe that he loves me either.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • I went through a divorce but we didnt have any children involved. It was the best decision I ever made. I wasted 2 years of my time and his. I wasnt happy the entire time, I cried all the time because I didnt want to be with him. Finaly I left. And it was worth every penny. Best of luck to you, its hard for some but go with your heart.
    sailfishmommy

    Answer by sailfishmommy at 8:53 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

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