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How do you get a stubborn high-strung child to calm down?

My son, who I love dearly, is very stubborn. He refuses to do anything he doesn't want to and I have tried everything from time out to losing all the toys. I have been told its because he is a only child and was spoiled and that having another baby will help this? Is this true or will he just act out more? Any suggestions on how to get a kid un-hyper and to listen a little better would be a blessing. Thanks

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Asked by AmberWiley at 8:43 PM on Apr. 21, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (7)
  • hunny, im going through the same thing. the only advice i have really been given is consistent disapline. ive been trying to put him in a corner or send him to his room when he is naughty. hes 2. sorry but that is the only thing that i can tell you right now,. if i hear of anything else i can let you know. sorry i cant be more help

    Answer by SThompson21 at 8:49 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Use chamomile. It helps.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:54 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Spanking. Uhhhhh it can only get worse with your methods. He has to know you mean business. If you don't discipline him now, he will walk all over you. You know, the moms who count in public and their children are running around into everything.. Ugh.. don't let this be you. Nothing worse in this world!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • I've heard the book "Parenting with Love and Logic" is a good book which may help. Here is the link , click on the General Parenting/Discipline/Time-out


    Answer by momjs at 7:39 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I would advise you read "Raising Your Spirited Child." It completely transformed the way that I see my daughter, and we are doing much better because of it. Stubborn isn't bad! It can be, if not properly socialized. When properly socialized, stubborn can become persistent and tenacious, the traits of leaders. Who wouldn't want their child to have those traits at 18 when sending them out in the world. You have to worry about them less than you do a child who is a follower. So, encourage his traits but in a way that is more socially acceptable. Help him get to "yes" instead of "no". Running out of space, see below for more...

    Answer by kara_g. at 9:49 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • For example, your child wants to play and you need to go to the mall to get grandpa a gift. The child does NOT want to go. You say, "We need to go to the mall to get grandpa a gift. You may get in the car now or play for 5 more minutes first. Which would you choose?" He will choose 5 min. Set a timer. HE decided but in a way where you both worked it out, in his mind. In truth, you decided. Involve him in planning "What should we get him? Do you want to buy your own card?" Etc.

    Answer by kara_g. at 9:49 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Oh I think we have the same child!!! My son is 3 1/2 and he is the same way! He is stubborn and likes things his way also. He is also an only child. I don't know if having another child will remedy the situation, but i'm not willing to try that method yet, lol. Sometimes what I do that occasionally works, is give him choices. And also, like one momma said, discipline. Make sure he knows the consequences for his actions. Also, the counting method works great for us! Usually by the time I get to 2, he is done doing whatever it was he was doing. Explain to him why his actions are wrong.. stuff like that. Good Luck and I hope this helps!

    Answer by jasonsmommy05 at 7:48 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

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