Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What to do in this situation?? Reposting from earlier to get more feed back.

Ok so we are planning on moving out of state in the next year or so. We currently live in Florida but are looking to move to Georgia or Alabama. Now I am the one who wants to move to GA and DH wants AL. I'm willing to go to AL but DH wants to move back to the same town he lived in growing up. I told him I don't mind living in the STATE of Alabama but I do not want to live within a 50mile radius of where he grew up because there is this girl who DH and her were... whatever you are in 6th grade... what is it? Holding hands?? *rolls eyes* ANYWAY they had always kept in touch which again is fine if all she wanted was friendship but this girl has made our life a NIGHTMARE she harrassed me while we were dating. Made up lies to make DH mad at me (never worked but the intention was still there) and MANY MANY things in between and even had her mom call us at 1am on our WEDDING night. She BEGGED DH not to marry me and I know that -CONT-

 
theheartbaby

Asked by theheartbaby at 9:36 PM on Apr. 21, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 1 (3 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I understand completely, it's not about letting "her" determine WHERE you live but more about How you live. And if you live within striking distance of her she will make your alls lives miserable which then could hurt the relationship between you and your husband. Maybe you can ask him how he would feel if the situation was reversed and it was one of your old boyfriend harassing him and trying to split you to up, would he want to live near someone like that?  JMO Good Luck

    Julia0331

    Answer by Julia0331 at 9:50 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • -CONT- I dont have to worry about DH or anything but she still lives in this town and the thought of seeing her on a regular basis (she still hangs out with DH's old friends and it's a SMALL town) makes me want to throw up on myself! The way I try to explain it to DH is why put the drama smack in the middle of our lives? I think it's like putting raw steak in front of a starving lion and telling him "Now don't eat that" This girl would have a field day. But DH says that since he knows people who work for the city up there (Thats what he does down here) it would be easier to get a job. Am I wrong for being strict in saying No Way No How to moving there or should I just let it go? Alabama isn't my first choice anyway I'd rather be in GA but I'm willing to give that up and move to AL just not that area... Any advice?
    theheartbaby

    Answer by theheartbaby at 9:36 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • ADDITIONAL INFO:: He wants to move back bc that's where he grew up and ALL his friends still live there. He has not had contact with her since a few months before our wedding when she told him to choose between either her or me and he said "You know it's sad bc Michelle has really tried to be nice to you and I can see you are never going to grow up. I hope you have a nice life but count me out" We know she still lives there bc her mother (Just as psycho as her daughter) txts him all the time (Since he doesn't answer their phone calls) telling him "____ really misses you" Or "We're still waiting for you to wake up and realize your meant to be with ____" etc... PSYCHO. We have done everything from changing his number to trying to block their numbers. DH little sis stays in touch w her bc they both have a hatred for me I can't explain bc I don't understand why or what I've done to them? I feel like
    theheartbaby

    Answer by theheartbaby at 9:37 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • I'm in HS again dealing w this and even when I ignore her and try to block her out she will go to great lengths to shove her face in front of me. By emails or 'anon' phone calls... And if she can do this when we live in seperate states I don't want to think about what she'd do if we lived in the same town.. DH has done nothing wrong and honestly this whole situation has nothing to do with him wanting to see her In fact we are going up to AL in July to the town he grew up in and when he called the guy we are going to stay with he even saia... No begged this guy not to tell ANYONE we were coming bc he didn't want ___ to find out. I trust DH he just doesn't understand why I let one person determine where we live.
    theheartbaby

    Answer by theheartbaby at 9:38 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • I wouldn't want to move closer to her either. It sucks that she has that much influence because it would probably be nice to move some place where he already has an in. Still, you're right about inviting the drama. Who needs it? I'd put my foot down and say no. She sounds mentally unstable if she called you on your wedding night. CRAZY. Keep her away from you and your kids!
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 9:40 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Seriously, you'd be nuts to move there. He's not being fair to even ask it of you. Move to GA, I think it's got to be better with better job prospects anyway. He can visit home but doesn't have to live there. I'd tell him he's being unfair to you and your marriage and no matter what, you don't agree with it and he should respect that.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:41 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Oh My. Your DH should really tell her to go away permanently. NO I would not move to Alabamas and only East of Atlanta... tell your hubby to make a choice...
    MELRN

    Answer by MELRN at 9:42 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • I agree with your reasons for not wanting to go there. But I have to say, you've lasted way longer than I would ever have. I would have long ago, contacted both the police department and the phone company, had a thing put on the line where they trace the call. It goes to court for harrassment charges. Done deal, she's gone. I know as I've done this. No need to keep the peace with anyone.....you need to get rid of her and her mother, and if it takes the law, then do it. If your husband is against that, then you best be questioning his intentions.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 9:44 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Well he doesn't TELL me we are moving there. We are discussing it and I just know that's where he really wants to be but I know I can persuade him not to go there I just feel like I'm being a bad wife and crushing his hopes and dreams by saying no without considering all the good points he's made and letting this one girl still have control (I mean if we don't move bc of her she still has control bc we based our decision on her location right??) I'm seriously so confused. I feel bad but I don't... Eh you know what I mean... That whole in 10 years is any of this going to matter? Is this decision going to haunt us the rest of our lives?? I just want to know I'm doing whats right and best for my family
    theheartbaby

    Answer by theheartbaby at 9:45 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

  • Eirelass- Thats a good idea. I never knew they could actually do the tapping thing in real life. I thought it was only a movie thing.... I have stood up to her and with the full support of my husband. He wants nothing to do with her or her mom and has told them both to stay away from him and his family (Me and DS), of course he used not so nice words but trust me the point he made was crystal clear. And I myself have said things and done things to both of them to NICELY tell them to back off... I just don't want to stoop to their level and yell and scream ya know. I want to hold myself to a higher standard... (Of course if I ever physically see them heaven help them because I can't promise I would get down to their level and beat the ever livin tar out of them,) <-- Yet another good reason not to move lol I might... prob would... end up in jail for placing two ppl in the hospital. :X
    theheartbaby

    Answer by theheartbaby at 9:51 PM on Apr. 21, 2009

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN