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honestly, could you be a single mom?

honestly i thought i could until i had my son, and then even the LITTLE help i got from my husband and family was great. my son had horrible colic and i had PPD and it was just horrible all around. i mean on gilmore girls it looks like so much fun but im sure in real life, raising babies alone has to be tough. older kids are probably easier. i dont envy single mothers (unless they are single by choice like i said in the other post, where the mother has an education and stable career and decides its time for a sperm donor) then yeah, im jealous ;]

i dont think we should be chastising single mothers i think we should be happy that they are doing what they can with what little help they get

 
aliciatron

Asked by aliciatron at 12:20 AM on Apr. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 2 (6 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (60)
  • I think women who leave there husbands to be single moms just to nickle and dime them out of child support should be prosecuted for abadoment. And that the child should remain with the father. After all since he is the one paying the bills why should the women have the child? I also think single moms who use a sperm donor are great. They wanted a kid and went for it, they didn't just sleep with the first losser they saw with $$ in their eyes thinking man 'this can give me a baby and then i can leave and get him for $1000.00 a month'. Women who leave their husband saying they did it for the child and if the husband was not abusive are full of shit, they did it for themselves and for a meal ticket. They steal the child from the kids father and then brainwash them into becoming a daddy hater. Good Job Single MOMs you did a great job screwing your kids life up!

    The actual number of women with this plan is pretty damn small.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 12:58 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • i could do it. would i want to no. but if i had to i would. half the year i have to be mommy and daddy anyways b/c my husband is navy (i'm not saying that makes me a single mom, b/c we have his income so i don't have to work unless i want to) but it makes it a little more understanding on where both parts of the debate have points.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 12:23 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I think women who leave there husbands to be single moms just to nickle and dime them out of child support should be prosecuted for abadoment. And that the child should remain with the father. After all since he is the one paying the bills why should the women have the child? I also think single moms who use a sperm donor are great. They wanted a kid and went for it, they didn't just sleep with the first losser they saw with $$ in their eyes thinking man 'this can give me a baby and then i can leave and get him for $1000.00 a month'. Women who leave their husband saying they did it for the child and if the husband was not abusive are full of shit, they did it for themselves and for a meal ticket. They steal the child from the kids father and then brainwash them into becoming a daddy hater. Good Job Single MOMs you did a great job screwing your kids life up!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • saying you left your husband for your kids isn't wrong even if he doesn't abuse them. my parents staying in a hateful relationship "for the kids" and let me tell you that didn't do any of us any good. you can't judge a woman who left a man for her own reasons unless you were there 24/7 and saw the relationship
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • ...anon i never thought about that LOL! i was thinking more along the lines of if the father never wanted to be a part of the childs life or if the mother didnt know who the father was
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 12:32 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I could do it, I have done it, my husband deploys and the kids and I are stuck in a new place without anyone but us. I don't like to do it and would never choose to do it. Single women who have their life in order then get a donor are amazing women in my book.
    But I kind of agree with Ann. 12:30am post, women who bait a man in hopes for a child then get one and bail on the guy and milk him for all he's worth should have the kid taken away from them, just like the kids where taken away from their dad. The person who can finanically afford the child should keep the them. If your ex has to pay you $1000 a month in CS then YOU cannot afford the child.
    Vanessannd

    Answer by Vanessannd at 12:35 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I was a single mom for about a year, longer if your count the pregnancy. The "father" wasn't there at all very much and then he broke up with me a month before she came. I did get A LOT of help from my parents, family and friends. Now I have a boyfriend that we love and that helps out a lot too. I think this has been a happy ending so far lol. I guess it depends on your definition of a single mother. If you mean the father isn't there, then yes with lots of support of course. =}
    jvann1

    Answer by jvann1 at 12:38 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Been there done that. I was married, single and now married again. I raised my kids by myself for five years. It wasn't easy, nor was the whole dating scene. I like being married and intend on staying that way... I have no desire to be by myself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I'm single. I was never married, and the father isnt involved. No child support, no rights, nothing. I havent heard from him or talked to him since I was six months pregnant. I'm not a bad person, I used to be, but I changed for my daughter. I cant wait to find a husband(hopefully) though!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • anon :42 you were NEVER a bad person! thats the point i was trying to make! you are doing the best you can for your child, thats what i was trying to say. i dont envy single mothers, but i admire them :]
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 12:44 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

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