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The other woman.... what would you do?

I left my husband when I was in my 1st trimester because I just couldn't take another day of him screwing anything that moved. That was over a year ago. He's not involved with the kids at all. Well there's another woman, & she's pregnant. I had to tell her medical stuff for the baby cuz I just couldn't be heartless enough to not care about my kids' brother or sister but she was nasty so I gave up. I knew she was living in lala land.
This week it came to my attention that they broke up. So I contacted her again. She told me everything he'd said to her about me, & our marriage, & that he'd told her we were already divorced. We haven't even filed. So we talked A LOT about him & her & me & the kids. I tell her I'll help however I can. So now neither of us talks to him, but we want the kids to know each other. It's kinda awkward & no one understands but I actually like her. I'm getting a lot of hate for getting to know her

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:03 AM on Apr. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • I give you props for being strong enough to look past the fact that she was the other woman, you are indeed a very strong woman and it shows that you have a big heart, your kids will also appreciate the fact that you are letting them be involved in their baby sister/brothers life
    Breezy1988

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 2:07 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Good! You are doing what's best for the kids. They are the important ones.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Ignore the hate, you two have a lot in common and if you can build a friendship on that then more power to you, and keeping the kids in each other's lives, that's just awesome. Not many women would be able to do that, so if you feel like making this woman a friend then do it, it will end up being good for the kids and possibly good for the both of you, after all, with a loser of a guy to bond over I'm sure you guys have some great stories to tell.
    heratyc

    Answer by heratyc at 2:20 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • You are a much better woman than most! You are both putting your child first and that is wonderful.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 2:26 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I'm a little nervous about how much and what to tell her, because I still don't 100% trust her. If I stand behind her and help, and she goes back to him I'll never respect her again. Right now I'm not mad at her anymore because she thought we were divorced. But if we talk and bond and then she goes back... ugh I kinda think that's gonna happen. She's way younger than he and I
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Wow that is a hard one. If you are both open to continuing the friendship then I think you should- just continue to be guarded. No sense getting hurt again.
    Erica_Smerica

    Answer by Erica_Smerica at 8:30 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I agree keep talking, watch what you say but be friends... stay guarded though. No need to go through hell again.

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 9:02 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • good for u being the bigger person. to bad she couldnt see him as the jasck ass he really is before it was to late. i hope you both file for c/s and make him pay for the kids he has. hes a jerk and an ididot. your kids and hers should grow up together and always know each other. me and my husband have diffrent veiws of his x wife some are the same but the fact is me and him have a son so there are kids involved and people looked at us weired when we are at kids concerts ( ohh my look a wife and x wife together ) and my son calls her auntie were both comfy with that and know no matter what the kids will always be around. anyways keep talken but agree always keep your eyes open.
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 9:11 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Well it is an awkward situation but if you two ladies can act like grown ups about it I don't see why not get together for the sake of the children. And stop talking about the father so much you want to become true friends not friends because you have to for the kids. GL
    Just be loving especially around the kids :)
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:12 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • If you like her so what. Nobody should get involved. If you two want to be friends go for it. But just in case one day he will be in the childrens lives I would suggest no bad mouthing him when the kids ar eold enough to understand. Save that for naptimes, etc. When my parents divirce said they would never bad mouth each other, and I can honestly say neither or them did it. Even at hard times when I would try to get some input on the situation no one ever had anything bad to say. I truly respect them both more for that and think it really helped me growing up. Good Luck Momma!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:48 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

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