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what would u do. ( dh's female friend sexual comment toward him )

ok dh dosent understand why i dislike a female friend he has had for many years i told him the truth when i was pregnant with his son i went to a baclorett party she was there and drunk and said " congrate on the baby i would love to go rounds with your husband" the women that heard her ( mostly her firends and his ) tight group. were shocked and silenced. my reply thanks but hes mine. night went on well. told dh he was like really she said that? so i tell him i dont care for her she isent my friend shes his and i dont trust her and hes been good he wont talk to her alone theres always someone there with him or he will nicely just say hi and talk to other people. i do trust him im weiry of her. so what would have you done?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:21 AM on Apr. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I think you handled it fine. It is hard to say hey cut her out completely but if he is only hanging out with her in a group and not making her the focus of his attention, then problem solved. You can't disrupt his life to much because he wasn't encouraging it, just feel lucky that you got a hot hubby! I think I would have done about the same in that situation.

    Answer by AK_aries at 9:24 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • i would've said, 'well, you've known him longer than i-obviously, there's a reason it didn't happen.' i wouldn't be jealous of a relationship they've had a long time. its not like it just started, after you came along. friends are friends, and they've known each other a quite a while, i guess, from what you said. i wouldn't try to make him feel nervous or guilty for talking to her, or any other woman, though. that's kinda high-schoolish, don't ya think?

    Answer by thehairnazi at 9:25 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I've been in a similar situation. I would just recommend to keep it superficial with her. Don't be rude, don't be overly nice. If she ever asks you anything like "whats your deal" or anything along those lines, you have a right to tell her that her comment made you feel uncomfortable. If she has even the smallest brain, she should understand why her comment was just plain rude & inappropriate.


    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:27 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • She has no respect for you or your DH then she has no respect for herself. I would have slaped her face(dumb bitch). I think that is very disrespectful of her...

    Answer by raemommy at 9:27 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • You handled it pretty good just keep it the way it is, If there is any way he can not see her that is even better. They don't need to be friends any longer he is with you and a child.
    And if they had a child together before you that would be the only reason they should be talking. GL You better watch her.

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:29 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • You said she was drunk. So you did the exactly right thing. Say thanks and let it go. Why push the issue when she's drunk? Why push the issue at all. Take it as a compliment that you have him and move on.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 9:34 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • i will say they never dated they have been friends since age 14 were all in our 30's now and we only see her when the group gathers he will say hi hows it going whats going on in life and thats it. i do watch her but when she comes up to me and chit chats i am nice and do the same( in my head i am thinking go away lol ) i would never tell dh dont talk to her or u cant be friends anymore. but he also knows im like a hawk and keep my eyes open.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Jealous bitches are always going to say things like that. Her being drunk doesn't excuse it. She probably wouldn't have said it TO YOU if she weren't drunk. Its good that you said what you did, because its impossible to argue/deal with someone who's drunk. As for DH, he should know that what she said was inappropriate and support your decision to distance yourselves from her. I wouldn't give a shit if he didn't like it...if you don't trust or like the woman then your HUSBAND should respect that and not want to be around her. If DH didn't like/trust a male friend of yours, I'm sure you'd be expected to distance yourself or stop communicating with him as a matter of respect for DH. There is no room in a marriage for a friend that makes either spouse uncomfortable.

    Answer by kbates1208 at 10:43 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I agree with Chrissy.

    Answer by MandyOs at 10:46 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • My group of friends is much like your husbands, we're very tight, and there are only a few of us women. We've all had to work over time to prove ourselves to our friends' SO because it can be threatening. It's the same way my male friends have had to work to show my husband that everything is platonic. It can be a tough situation, especially for a new girlfriend, to come into this group where any other woman knows more about her boyfriend than she does. I can say I would have NEVER made a comment like that woman did to you, that goes against any common sense or respect she has for your husband. If she respects your husband as her friend, she needs to respect you as the person he chooses to be with. I would let it go as it is, he's being good, even though she was an idiot.

    Answer by LiviGracesmom at 10:59 AM on Apr. 23, 2009

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