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Need some advice . . .

My best friend (of 21 years *gasp!!*) is converting to Catholicism because her fiance is Catholic. I am proud of her for choosing her own path, and thrilled that she has accepted Christ in her life.

Here's my problem, though.

She has expressed wanting to teach me how to pray the rosary and her desire for me to also convert to Catholicism. While I love her dearly, and I am happy for her chosen path, I feel that Catholic ritual, practice, and doctrine is just not something I feel will bring me closer to Jesus. She feels that since I am not Catholic, I am a "lost soul" and must be saved.

How do I handle this? She has been my best friend for our entire adult lives (and a good portion of our adolescence as well) - I don't want to lose her friendship, but I don't want to be a Catholic either.

Any advice?


Asked by jennijune_21 at 9:38 AM on Apr. 22, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

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This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • I would simply tell her what you just said to us... You are proud of her for chosing her path but it's not yours. You love her and want her to be happy but this is not the path for you and you don't want religion to get in the road of such a good friendship.

    She may not understand at moment one, but she will - I have a few friends and all my family that are different religions than me... Most of my family are Catholic or JW. And I have always been very clear with them, "If you're happy, I'm glad. But don't try to change who and what I am. I will choose my path for me - You choose yours. In the end we'll all be happier that way."

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 9:45 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • try explaining that to her other then that i dont know sorry im not much help...

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • be honest with her & tell her it's not the path for you, & that you have different views when it comes to religion/spiritual. All you need to say is NO. I don't want to have part in being Cotholic, i am not you, I am me & i am different, so get over it! If she is your best friend, she will accept you even if your belief is different from hers.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:41 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • You need to explain it just like you asked! While you are happy it is something you are not comfortable with. I am catholic but not going to church every Sunday and people think that is not right but I belive in god and pray so does that make me bad no it don't. Good luck!!!

    Answer by Korysmom96 at 9:41 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Thats tough.... I come from a Catholic family and I am the "lost soul". I totally understand where you are coming from, but don't have any great advice. Wish I did....

    Good Luck....

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 9:42 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Have a talk with her about how your feeling, and explain your feelings to her if she really is a true friend she will understand..GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Wow, Jennijune...thats pretty hard. Before she was catholic, was she of a christian denomination or what was she? Did you try to convert her to your faith or was she already there? Sounds like shes just excited about her new found faith and she wants to share. Thats wonderful! She might not see the overzealousness of her ways just yet. YOu obviously know what you believe and live it out in front of her. When she brings this up again, just let her know politely that you have a faith already (which she should know). I was going to say tell her youre not interested but I don't think that would be the way to go. SImply because she might take this as a personal rejection and that you don't approve of her. I think I might just encourage her but try to steer clear of the conversation for awhile. At some point, you are going to have tell her that you have no intentions of converting. Its just a really hard spot to be in...Good luck.

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:44 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • OK it's normal for one to be excited about something in their life that they think is the bee's knees and share their excitement with everyone. Some do go overboard with it. And some have a hard time understanding why what makes them happy won't make everyone happy. Hopefully this "honeymoon" phase won't last long and she'll return to reason. As to her thinking that other Christians aren't saved by virtue of not being Catholic doesn't sound like Catholic doctrine. Any Catholics out there that can confirm this? Perhaps going over what makes one saved will put to rest her worries about your soul.

    Answer by isabellalecour at 9:48 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Answered at 8:44 AM on Apr. 22, 2009 by: momofsaee
    She was agnostic before she converted. I never tried to convert her at all - I felt it was important that she try to find her own path. She does know my faith - and knows how important my relationship with Christ is to me.

    Thanks for the advice, girls!

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 9:49 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I understand her enthusiasm, to a degree, but she's overdoing it a bit by pushing you and calling you a lost soul. Alas, I hope her enthusiasm sticks even if her worldly relationships don't - I've seen a lot of people "convert" enthusiastically, but then fall away - like Jesus said, some seeds grow quickly in rocky soil, but their roots do not go deep and their faith dies when challenged. Just gently remind her that you do not feel called to the Catholic faith and that you walk your path with Jesus, just as she walks hers. You have different personal needs in your relationship right now and you work with Jesus to meet them - if HE calls you to the Catholic faith, then that's one thing, but you are not prepared at this time in your journey to walk down that aisle. And keep her in your prayers that her seed is planted in rich soil, not rocky. What you say above concerns me as I've seen this a lot before...

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 9:50 AM on Apr. 22, 2009