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Always Asked to Babysit, Feeling Used, Advice?

My brother and his fiance are always asking me to babysit their 18 month old son. On Mother's Day, on New Year's Eve, (actually calling on those days), for doctor's appointments, final exams, etc. I am getting tired of always being asked. It's my fault for having a hard time saying no. But I am reaching my boiling point. I've already watched him Saturday, overnight, didn't sleep well. Then I get asked Sunday if I can watch him Tuesday and Wednesday for dr appt. and 3D ultrasound appt. because they don't want to entertain him during the appt. Then while on a nice lunch with a friend yesterday (I declined watching him Tues even though they asked) I get asked to watch him again on Friday so she can take her final exam.

I am feeling taken advantage of and I am nearing the point of just exploding. How can I bring up with the subject with them without any feelings hurt?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on Apr. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • Be honest! I am in the same situation with some friends and it's my fault I let it go this far but I need to stop it. People sometime don't realize that they are doing this and sometimes they do and don't care so either way you have to handle this and stand up for yourself.
    Korysmom96

    Answer by Korysmom96 at 9:44 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Just let them know and I hope they are paying you for babysitting, if not...hell yeah they are taking advantage of you. You need to say something tell them you will have to start charging 20.00 dollars a day and for overnights another 20.00 bc you don't sleep comfortably that is their baby not yours yeah you want to help but I think they are over doing it. Speak up girl!!! GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:45 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • do u have kids? if so next time say i can take so and so but on sat can u take mine? even trade. or your gonna have to do what i did when this was happening to me stand your ground and say sorry i cant after the 2nd time they might not ask as much.your being helpful which is great but why dont they ask someone else? weres grandma? take your brother aside and just say i cant take him as much and you need to also find an alternative person.
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 9:47 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I have two kids, and manage to hold down fort. But my sis in law calls me to take my nephew when she needs to clean her house, when she needs to go to the bank, go to the store, every little thing. Yet I manage to do just fine with my two. And I get my house cleaned with all 3 kids. However, she cant manage to watch all 3 herself, so I cant ever ask her to baby sit. I know how you feel... infact, shes on her way right now with my nephew. lol.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • The only way someone can take advantage of you is if you let them.
    You need to say no if you don't want to help. You need to tell them to give you as much notice as possible. the fiancee knew when her final exam was scheduled and obviously that is something she can't take the baby with her. I think it's wonderful that you help, maybe you are the only person she has.
    I am very fortunate, I have a mom, 2 sisters and a MIL . My MIL lives next door and is always happy to help, but I won't ask her last minute for something I know about ahead of time. If my husband suggests it, I make him call his mom. GL
    chuggerboysmom

    Answer by chuggerboysmom at 10:50 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • They are asking and not taking advantage of you. You can say no but you choose not to. Don't be a martyr about this you don't have to keep him. I would not want you to watch my child if I was the fiance or brother knowing you feel it is such a burden. Be honest they probably don't know you feel this way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • My friend used to do this to me. I finally just told her that I had a busy life and if she wanted me to watch her kids, she needed to ask me in advance and give me a schedule of the days she needed me. When she did that, she realized how much she was dumping her kids off on me. I didn't mind helping out when needed or in an emergency, but I didn't appreciate being taken advantage of.
    Oh, I don't advise doing this exactly, but once she called me to watch her kids and I impulsively made up a lie to her. I told her I was having drinks with a friend and I was too drunk to watch her kids! Haha. I almost forgot about that one!
    feministmama

    Answer by feministmama at 11:49 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Repeat after me: Sorry, no.
    Try it again: Sorry, no
    Keep saying it to outloud until you are sure that you can say it, kindly but firmly, to your brother.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:59 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

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