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Does any one's husband refuse sex since the baby's been born?

I found out yesterday that a friend (yes, a friend, not me) had an affair recently because her husband won't have sex with her any more. They've only done it once since the baby's been born and their son is two! I think there are a few other things going on, but this seems to be the most major issue. I am hoping to get some info to help her but the web doesn't seem to offer much, maybe I'm not typing in the right phrases? Does anyone have any views/advice on this matter? Thanks!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:33 AM on Apr. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • my husband isnt that into sex either but not that much that i would have an affair she needs to tell him to start pleasing her or shes gonna find someone who will if she wants to save that marrige that is.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Good time in 2 years?! I'd have divorced him already! Maybe if you typed in marriage counseling, or sex after baby, etc. it would bring up more answers? My sister recently divorced her husband because he didn't have any sort of intimacy with her anymore. Turns out he was addicted to porn among other things. I think she did the right thing. She tried to get him to go to counseling, but he refused. His habits were more important than his wife.

    Answer by kbates1208 at 10:51 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Hello, that's a total bullshit story. Dollars to doughnuts, she hasn't really tried talking with her husband about his lack of sex drive, encouraged him to see his doctor for a physical or pursued any course of action to improve things. You said that you thought there were other issues, and you're most likely correct about that. My advice to her would be, stop screwing around and communicate with your husband honestly and without judgement in order to discover and solve the real problems. Get counseling if that's what's needed.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 10:55 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • My husband was like that for the first few months. Even now, 10 months later, I am lucky to get it 1-2 times a month.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Maybe he has a fear of getting her pregnant again! I know a couple that had that issue. He just wasnt ready for another and didnt want to risk it.

    Answer by beingamomrocks1 at 1:05 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I agree with all of the above comments. He could be having an affair. He could be afraid of getting her pregnant again. Whatever it is, though, it isn't going to be fixed by her cheating. That will just make things worse.

    Maybe she needs to spice things up with her husband. Has she tried new positions? Lingerie? Toys (like the rabbits by Ann Summers)? Videos?

    Sometimes it takes time to get back in the groove...


    Answer by singinggal at 2:30 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Thanks for all the responses ladies! I talked to my friend again and it's a lot like your sister's situation, kbates1208, no intimacy (except I don't know about the porn thing). And while I do realize it could all be BS and she's just trying to get my approval for her indiscretion, I have no reason not to believe her. She's tried, she says, and she admits she's not the easiest person either. She'd leave him flat if it weren't for their son. She's a SAHM and can't afford to leave now. I couldn't think of any advice to give her except to tell her to go to counseling solo and hope that her husband will change his mind and go too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:09 AM on Apr. 23, 2009

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