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It hurts the most at night.

My heart feels like it is breaking...My husband and I had a beautiful baby girl on Jan 14 and I just feel like my he doesn't love me anymore. I feel used because although we make the same amount of money I pay all the household bills and buy everything. He pays his personal debts child support and our car insurance.
I got hurt at work and got a little money for my personal injury and I have tried to keep it in savings because I know that my daughter will have needs while she grows up and something may happen down the road that we will need it for but he wants this and he wants that. I feel like a cash cow. I try to tell him that we don't have the money but I know in the back of his head he knows that there is money. He doesn't seem intrested in me anymore. I try to be romantic and end up feeling rejected all the time leving me there crying wondering what I need to do to make him attracted to me. I am lost and hurt what to do?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:27 PM on Apr. 22, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • It sounds like you have been carrying too much of the load, and you will have to stop doing that. Don't give him the money. He is a grown man and he needs to learn that if you want something, the way to get it is to work for it and save for it. While I understand that you feel used, the truth is that you have allowed him to use you. That's the only way we can be used--we have to agree to it. So you must stop allowing him to use you. It may be rough for a while. It takes time to break old habits. Now will be a wonderful time for him to learn how to provide for his family, since you are not able to work. If the bills don't get paid, refer the collectors to your husband. Don't fight his battles for him. Don't let him hide behind your skirt. Let him learn how to do what he should have been doing all along. He may make a good husband and father yet.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:05 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • well first of all I would talk to him. Tell him how you feel and exactly what you are thinking. See what he says. I feel that way sometimes too but my husband gives me his check and we pay the bills together but there just isn't any money left. He is always wanting & it makes me feel bad b/c I can't give it and we went thru a time where I felt like he didn't want me but he was just stressed at work and brought it home and now that we talked about it, it is sooo much better. Try and talk to him. Good Luck

    Answer by momwifelove at 1:43 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I wouldn't talk with him...what is there to say, other than working out a visitation schedule for our child...He's using you to pay the overhead costs and since you've been doing this solo, being rejected and left hurt, what good is he to you? In a committed marriage or relationship, two people work together to produce positive results for thier future...if he's not contributing to financial and mental for you, then there's nothing left to do but leave his butt where you found the dust!

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:52 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Well I don't agree with the above comments. I still think you should talk to him b/c he may not realize what he is doing. Most guys seemed to forgot about all the bills and how many of them there are. I mean do what youwant but if you love him and want to try then I would say talk to him. Tell him how you feel

    Answer by momwifelove at 2:16 PM on Apr. 22, 2009