• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you think anything compares to officially being married?

As in, being together for a long time, living together for a long time....having kids together?

DF & I are getting married in 4 1/2 months...we've been together for 4 1/2 years, lived together for....about a year and a half, and we have a 5 month old son together. We always joke around that we're practically married. I know marriage will definately connect us in a deeper way and bring us together and bond us together in a whole new aspect...that's for life.
And I was just wondering what other Mom's opinion on it was...
And if you have a similar situation, how did marriage change your relationship, if at all?

Answer Question
 
carliemarie1015

Asked by carliemarie1015 at 2:21 PM on Apr. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Level 12 (765 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • We didn't have our son yet, but we were together for 5 years and lived together for 2 1/2 and after marriage it was the same thing, except that I had insurance! =)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I totally believe in to each their own. If living together with all the same commitments and practicality of marriage works for you more power to you. I know a lot of people it works for. But it wouldn't work for me personally. To me, taking that step of "Making it legal" is making a real commitment to each other. Taking that vow, making it front of friends and family, in front of God (or not depending on your beliefs) says a lot. To me, not getting married just leaves one or both people an easy way out because breaking up is easier than a divorce. And common law isn't the same to me either. It's the act of making the commitment to each other. I'm just old fashioned I guess. JMHO
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Personally for me I do not think anything compares to actually, legally being married..
    Being married comes with a sense of security, just living together for years would not be
    my cup of tea...
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 2:34 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I don't like marriage myself. Never felt it was important, even though I did it for a while. I have lived with my S/O for 22 yrs, we were married from 1990 to 1994 and I divorced him. Things have been good ever since. The only way marriage bonded me, was legally.
    wearygram

    Answer by wearygram at 2:35 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Marriage really didn't change our relationship. We lived together for 3 yrs and dated for for a year prior to that. I wish you the best. Congrats.
    mom_wrhsc

    Answer by mom_wrhsc at 2:38 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I think marriage is domestic servitude. It's not my thing. Tried it, didn't like it. I have adult children in long term relationships where they have families and not married. It works for them. The marriage thing gets sticky imo. I think it can cause problems and hard to get out of in some cases. However, without the marriage vows there is no formal commitment to forsake all others so you'd have to really trust another person to go into a relationship like that. They are basically common law marriages though but in some states they are not recognized formally. I say whatever works for you, is fine.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:48 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I dont think it matters what anyone else thinks. It is your life, and you two are the ones that have to live it and make it work.
    2-1CavWife

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 3:15 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • For some people who have had horrible marriages and even worse divorces - marriage is a living hell. For others, it is the ultimate "I love you" in commitment and ever after. It all depends on your life experiences and how you want to live. For me, I'm the one with the latter belief - I would like very much to be married to my man.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 3:25 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.