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am i wrong? or is this just plain rude?

my dh's family seems SO controlling about everything. and now that dd has arrived they keep telling us what's REALLY ok to give her and who we need to take her to see. dh is a surprisingly good judge of character. so i trust his instinct when he tells me there're some people in his family, that are just messed up and our dd would be better off not meeting them. is this wrong of us? choosing who gets to see our daughter? last time we went to visit some of his family, his aunt kept pushing him, telling him "you NEED to take dd to see her! don't be like them, (saying dh's name in a tone), you're better than that" too me that's manipulation. it's like she's trying to be nice, but forcing herself on us. but i could be wrong. and another thing, all they eat is McD's. they were telling us we SHOULD give dd french fries. there's nothing wrong with it. but i don't want her eating "junk" just yet. they said i was being over protective.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Apr. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I come from a small family and we don't want our kids to have too much time around my older sister. We don't like her, trust her, or respect her and she will never be given the honor of "aunt" by our kids. They will know that she is my sister and they won't be instructed to be rude to her, but their time with her will be supervised and limited. Same goes for my SS's BM: the relationship will be supervised, limited, and not treated as a familiar part of our childrens' lives.
    It is your guys' child, it is up to you who you want her to be around, that is your rights as parents.

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 3:41 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • thoughts? opinions?

    let me know what you think?

    feel free to tell me if you believe i'm getting pissed off over nothing


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I come from a very large family. There are alot of members my kids don't know. For good reason. Overprotection? It's your job as a parent. My son didn't have a lollypop...his first candy....until he was 5. Who care's, I'm the Mom, I get to say when.

    Answer by EireLass at 2:37 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • No, I think you have a right to be mad. I wouldn't take her to see anyone your husband sees unfit. That wouldn't be a good influence on her. YOU choose who sees your daughter, no one else. Once I move, no one is seeing my new baby or my three year old for a while. I'm just sick of having people around ALL the time. I just want to move on with MY life. Good luck and keep your head up =]

    Answer by mommykayti at 2:39 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • oh i forgot to ask... what should i say??? to his family members.. the next time they do this?


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:43 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • personally- I judge each person myself and not base my thoughts on what anyone says. I will tread lightly though. If I were you, I would take the child to see whoever wants to see her until they give good reason for YOU to decide not to let them be around. You can say no if they try and offer french fries and if they don't respect that, then stop letting them come around.

    Answer by ZaTa at 2:56 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Hard to say without knowing how old she is. Is your daughter old enough to eat a french fry?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • to anon :34, my dd is almost 9 months.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Just do what you feel comfortable with. Your the mom, therefore your the main person responislibe for her. Do what feels right for you.

    Answer by lstrickland at 4:58 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Have an uncomfortable conversation with them. It doesn't really matter if your being overprotective, your kids, your decisions. Your going to have to find a way to let them know. Example:  " I feel really undermined as a parent when you tell me to ___________, lets agree that as the parent I make these decisions."


    Answer by dreyamom at 5:10 PM on Apr. 22, 2009