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I am lazy, according to DH.

I have been taking care of 2 sick kids. My son is 5, he has a kidney infection and strep throat. I found that out after sitting in the ER for hours, his pediatrician told me he was fine. My 2 year old daughter is wheezing and on steroids. He told me in front of my inlaws, their kids and our kids, that I do nothing and am lazy. OMG, the house is clean, I am taking care of 2 sick kids and our 8 year old. I cleaned all day yesterday, I asked him to help with dishes while he was on the couch. He is laid off and not working. He wouldn't even do that and told me that's the mothers job. I haven't slept in almost a week, i am exhasuted and drained. He refuses to help me out. I am giving our kids their meds, our dog her meds for an infection, twice a day. Our cat has an eye infection and has to have antibiotics in her eyes twice a day too. I am doing it all and he says I do nothing. I need his help. Any advice?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Apr. 22, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Give him your notice of resignation immediately. I am so serious!
    Go in and type up something that says that you feel that there is no career growth in your current position, and you feel that your skills can be better utilized somewhere else.
    Give it to it when he gets home.
    In addition, you need to look up how much an hour a home nurse makes. How much an hour a nanny makes, how much it is for someone to come over and put meds in the eyes of your cat twice a day. Everything. Just google salaries for those different jobs, and put it in the resignation letter. Then say, "I have done research in reference to my inadequate salary. According to _______ I should be making 100,000 a year, and it has come to my attention that I am grossly underpaid. " Then give him a bill for this past week of work, service paid for services rendered.
    That will get his attention!

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 3:07 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Go away on a trip for a few days. See what happens when you come back.

    Answer by FuzNet at 2:57 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I'd give him the job of dispensing medicine... that alone sounds exhausting.

    Answer by Crystal1124 at 2:58 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Keep taking care of the kids and the pets, but let everything else go and see how long he can stand it. Then explain to him that if YOU don't do it, then it won't get done, if he still thinks you're lazy, point out just how little he does.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • really do NOTHING for a few days. Let him get his own food, wash his own clothers. Don't do any dishes unless you HAVE to. Make him set what nothing really is. I would just give the kids there meds and feed them and let him fend for himself.

    Answer by Vanessannd at 3:00 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • He is being a true jerk, I bet if you leave for awhile he will singing a different tune he is being very inconciderate and unappreciative the piece of.....sorry don't get me started.
    I know what you mean even though you feel like you do everything but nothing looks like you did much atleast for me it does. Seems like the same thing over and over and no one notices but you.
    Let's keep our chin up and one day you will have your day of relaxation and I hope you get it soon I am afraid you are ready to pop. GL Ask God for strength he hears you and just hang in there.

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 3:02 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • My x used to say "don't accuse me of it unless you want me to do it". If he calls you lazy then don't do anything. Be lazy and show him what the word means. He'll cut that crap out.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:03 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Walk out the door, leave your cell phone at home and take a few hours for yourself. Even if you just go sit in your car at the park. Hopefully his tune will change by the time you get back.

    Answer by texasgurl33 at 3:12 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Yeah tell your DH to come to my house and I will show him what a real man looks like..

    Sounds to me that your husband is shelfish and no team player..
    I would go to some kind of counceling if I was you...
    He is not happy, and give yourself some more time you are going to resent him, if you
    don't already.

    Answer by Dannee at 3:12 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • UHM, I'm going to step out on a limb here and say pray, don't provoke. I don't think you should ac t ugly just because he is. I sturggle w/ many of the same issues my dh (He does work hard) and it is hard at time not to want to throw up your hand and say "See if you can do better." Talk to him and tell him what you're thinking and feeling

    Answer by leannamama at 3:27 PM on Apr. 22, 2009