Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Biological Mother or Step Mother?

I have a 7 year old step son, which me and my husband have custody of. The childs biological mother comes in and out of his life, she doesn't have a stable home she moves from state to state all the time. She see's him every once and a while when she feels like it, she hardly ever pays child support (108.00 a month WOW). I do everything for him, I am no doubt about it the motherly role in his life and have been ever since he was 3. (he doesn't remember me not ever being there) The biological mother called and said she is coming into town to go to a mothers day picnic at his school should she be aloud to go ? I had planned on going I mean she doesn't come for birthdays, surgeries, christmas, nothing but she's going to make it to this!!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on Apr. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • DON"T tell him she may come Just in case she does not. Plan to go and do so EVEN IF she comes. I would contact the teacher/school and let them know that bio mom is considering coming to the event so that they will not be shocked and let them know/ask them that you may BOTH be coming.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 6:22 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • To be honest, I wouldn't expect her to show up. Also, I'd have a serious problem with her being there. I know it's his bio-mom and all, but it takes a lot more to be a mom then popping one out.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 4:00 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Until her rights as a mother are revoked there is not "real" reason for her not to go. If anything, you both should go. Its not like you have to invite her to it or anything. But if she hears about it she could tag along.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 4:05 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I would let her come but I wouldn't tell YOUR son just in case she doesn't. Can you both be there and be civil for the child's sake?

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I agree. Just because she gave birth doesn't give her the right, especially when she has really nothing else to do with the child. If she doesn't attend or acknowledge birthdays, etc. This should be the same thing. You should still be attending as well. If you care for him, celebrate with him, and your husband has custody, you need to be there also. Why does she even know about the thing at the school?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I agree with the first Anon, you should just plan on going and if she shows up, you should both make the effort to be civil for the sake of your son.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 4:11 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Yes she should. That's his mother, whether she pays or not.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • honestly...you're being mommy.YOU should be at the picnic..not the one who comes around when she feels like it.
    starryeyez23

    Answer by starryeyez23 at 4:16 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Maybe you should ask your son what he wants? If he wants his mom there then she should be there. If not then no.

    I think you should both go though.
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 4:20 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Don't bring the kid into it. Just let it go and see what happens. She probably won't show.
    PROGENITOR

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 4:41 PM on Apr. 22, 2009