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Discipline... I am pissed!!!

So some kids, probably about 4 slapped my 21 mo old today at the park. This kids was twice her size. She is tiny, tall, but very selder... the kind of kid that you think you might break if you hug to hard.

I was pissed, the mom comes over gets down looks at her son and says "that was not nice, say your sorry", he says sorry and runs off playing, she looks at me and says "sorry, boys, you know"... I said.. "no I don't, I have two older boys who have never assulted another child, and if they would have, I would have beat their butts for it"... she says "oh, well.. I don't beleive in spanking.. the only thing it teaches is that if you are bigger you can hit."

ARe you joking??? My kids will and have been spanked, and they have never even threatened to hit another kid!! this is the third time my kids have been hurt by a "NON spanking" familes kids. Humans don't need to be taught to hit, its instinct, but they do....

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daughteroftruth

Asked by daughteroftruth at 4:37 PM on Apr. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 19 (7,602 Credits)
Answers (29)
  • need to be taught to control their emotions and isntincts and not lash out in a physcial way.


    So someone, pleeeeassssse expalin to me why my kids, who have been spanked have never hit another child... KEEP getting smacked around by kids whos parents feel that spanking will only lead to them being violent???

    I cannot wait till she is old enough to be in martial arts. I am so angry right now.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 4:41 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • well, if you do some research on spanking, studies show that it does nothing positive for kids. It does everything negative. But that's just what studies show....they have also kept on w/ certain studies until adulthood to see what kind of long term effect spanking has on kids. Kids who are spanked tend to have a much less self image & self confidence than kids who are not spanked. It's all there on the Internet, you should search the studies...they are VERY interesting. I doubt that her kid hits because she doesn't spank. It probably has to do with the fact that she doesn't discipline well. I have never spanked my daughter, & i never ever would. She has never hit anyone & is a very respectful child, but i follow through with my discipline. Not all parents do, regardless of there disciplining techniques.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:43 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I cannot give any explanation, sorry. The boys will be boys argument is the downfall of that gender. He is probably a big mamas boy, too. And that mother sounds like a real douche bag, who is raising a mini me douche bag..
    PROGENITOR

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 4:44 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • So sorry about that.. I would have spanked my kid had they done that too. My son only hit his sister one time and that was it. Otherwise, they are the gentlest beings ever.
    ZaTa

    Answer by ZaTa at 4:50 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I have done research... but on both sides of the argument. And instead of following some trend, I chose to pick out people who have raised children sucessfully and then seek out their advice and discipline styles. They have healthy, happy, very self confidant adult children who were spanked.

    My children are spanked and I have been told by councelors and doctors that they are very self confidant and well adjusted children, and emotionally healthy children. I am not saying that spanking is what makes everything great... but it is a very effective discipline tool that has been proven in many families.

    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 4:52 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • That woman is an idiot. If that's the license she allows "boys", then she obviously expects lower standards of behaviour from anything with a penis, and that's not fair.

    What she did was reinforce what she claims to be trying to avert, that if you're bigger, you can hit and get away with it as long as mommy's around.



    MizKizzy

    Answer by MizKizzy at 4:52 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Spanking or as I call it discipline teaches a child that there is a consequence to their behavior. IF it is administered appropriately (which I do not hesitate to do with my children!) it is very effective! Children MUST be taught (through discipline) that wrong behavior will bring about a consequence! Not spanking lets the kid know that there is nothing he can't do. This is NOT healthy for a child. Children test boundaries in order to have someone show them where they are! As for the mother telling him to say he's sorry - that is a CROCK! He's not sorry! And saying it doesn't make him sorry. It makes him a liar! His mother is actually cultivating a liar by making him say it!! For my kids, when they wrong someone else, they are told to tell that person that they were WRONG!!! THEN! They are NOT allowed to continue playing. All of this is AFTER administering discipline to their butt! A child WILL NOT DIE for being disciplined!
    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 4:55 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • He MIGHT die for not being taught discipline! He will never learn self discipline without being taught. Children do not just pick it up somewhere! They have to be taught!
    Children who are disciplined know that it is inappropriate behavior to hit! HITTING is not even close to being in the same category as discipline!
    When spanking was removed from schools, is when teen pregnancy, drug use, gangs, school shootings and other violence rose dramatically. Until we as parents get back to disciplining our children, nothing will change. When we do, we will see a change in our children that is more than profound!
    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 4:58 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Well, i don't have the heart to harm my innocent child. IN MY OPINION, I think parents who spank are too lazy to discipline better & to take the time to really work with your child's behavior. My techniques works FANTASTIC without having to harm anyone. I was spanked quite a bit growing up & i have nothing but ill, negative memories about it & i would never do that to my child. Have fun spanking away......sure your kids love it. Sorry if i sound rude, but I'm sure you expected it w/ your post. Also, I'm not following any trend, I'm following my heart, & my instinct to protect my child. There have been hundreds of studies that prove spanking does nothing positive for children, never seen a PRO spanking study because there aren't any that can prove it's effectiveness. I also volunteer w/ less able children, so it's a sensitive subject for me. If you've ever counseled a child.....

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 5:00 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • My son is spanked and has never once hit anyone. He is so sensitive to others feelings. Spaking works....talking to them doesn't. I can tell a spanked kid from a kid that gets "that's not nice" when we're in public
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

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