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big problem

i was at work sitting with my co workers...there was me white a spanish girl and a african american woman.they are all my friend.well the spanish girl dropped the n bomb.i almost died.this girl didnt seem to think anything of this.( iam going to say this isnt the problem her being spanish)the african am.lady had a fit. i thought it was understandable.i couldnt believe it.i was trying to talk to her ,tryin to maybe talk about it.the woman wouldnt.she told me that she wouldnt talk to me and that we were all the same.my thought was who were all the same and why did she say this to me.i didnt say anything all night to her.at the end i knew she wanted to talk but i was at a loss for words.i dont know what to say now.i know i can never feel what she does but i do have compassion for what was said to her...how do i approach her now?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on Apr. 22, 2009 in Politics & Current Events

Answers (10)
  • It might be best at the moment to let her have some time to cool down. I realize she's upset,but she lashed out at the wrong person,probably because you were in the line of fire. I'm sorry this happened to either one of you. Just let her come to you,and if she doesn't, maybe in time you can kinda start up a conversation with her,and see how she reacts.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:46 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • She shouldn't have lashed out on you. That was way out of line. I agree that you need to let her approach you because she owes you an apology and I think she knows that.

    On the flipside, I am A.American and I hate when anyone says it, including other A.American people, but there are so many of us A.American that call eachother that on a daily basis and don't get upset. It is not until someone else says it that we want to throw a hissy fit and I think that is wrong. Either we dislike ir or we don't . We can't have it both ways.
    BriHan06

    Answer by BriHan06 at 5:00 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • How would she feel to be called a beaner, etc.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:10 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • i kind of thought of what brihan said.she didnt think of anything of what she said which kind of lead me to believe that she hung around with a americans and thats what they said to each other.in any case it was wrong but i also agree with brihan saying you cant believe both ways cause she was talking about the winner of the boston marathon being from africa but she expanded on this and not very nicely.so i guess you could call it a double negative???and also not to be ignorant but whats a beaner???
    raineydays377

    Answer by raineydays377 at 5:33 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I agree, don't do anything. Let her get over her anger and make amends with who she feels comfortable with. We can't control how others judge us, but we can control how we deal with their judgement.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 5:56 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • I would take it to HR. You know she will. They need to hear your side also.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:55 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • She is only Spanish if she is from Spain! Otherwise she is hispanic, puerto Rican, or cuban......
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • Who cares what anyone is? The OP didn't participate. She is an innocent bystander. She has nothing to appologize for and shouldn't be the first to start convo with the immature parties. If she is concerned about a risk to her job, she should approach HR, but also realize that this my cause bigger problems with one or both of the co-workers.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on Apr. 22, 2009

  • tell her that shes wrong. the n word doesnt mean what most think. it means an ignorant person. and tell her "were" not all the same. no two people are. she shouldnt judge you because your white and your friend is hispanic. shes doing the same as your other friend.
    LotusBlossom21

    Answer by LotusBlossom21 at 12:20 AM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • She is only Spanish if she is from Spain! Otherwise she is hispanic, puerto Rican, or cuban......

    See this is part of our problem. I'm not bashing this poster because her observation is correct. However, if you are born in the US you are an American...period.

    Heritage and culture of ancestry is important. We should remember. It is good to celebrate.

    Personally, I can't tell if a person with what appears to be deeply tanned skin and dark hair is hispanic, spanish, cuban and such. Ditto for those of Asian dissent.

    "Politically correctness" about race and/or ancestry is creating a deep divide within our country. As individuals we must each "let go" and embrace the fact that despite color and nation of ancestry we are Americans. We are citizens of the greatest nation on earth As parents we must instill this in our children. Let's leave them a better nation.

    OP, I would give it a few days.
    yourspecialkid

    Answer by yourspecialkid at 10:15 AM on Apr. 23, 2009

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