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Is 19 better than 18?

I have a son who is very high maintenance and it is a real struggle getting him to care about life. Has anyone found 19 to be better than the age of 18? He is 19 today.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on Apr. 23, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (10)
  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I have a son like this a little bit just let him have some space to find out who he is. no pressure needed he may be a late bloomer! Is he OCD? He needs excercise then and sunshine to lift his mood!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • Age has little to do with maturity. It has to do with HIM, who he is as a person. His personality, his ambition, his fears, his insecurities, his livelihood. He is the only person who knows if 19 will be better than 18, none of us can tell you that.

    Answer by catwalksymphony at 2:41 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • I think it gets better eventually...but not at a given age. My 17 year old is easier than my 30 year old some days.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:05 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • He'll be fine. It takes time to grow up. If he is high maintenance I hope he's flipping the bill!

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:01 PM on Apr. 24, 2009

  • It takes time for teens to mature, and for boys you really have to give it until they're about 22-24 years old.  There are exceptions.  As for caring about life, if you think he might have mild depression, maybe you could have him speak with a professional.  If you feel he just doesn't have direction, help him find one.  What does he care about?  What does he love?  Help him realize the steps needed to turn his interests into a career perhaps.  I have a 20-year-old DS, and that's what I did with him.  He has a clear focus and direction for his life, education, and career.  I don't worry about him and he is more mature now and easier to deal with than my 37-year-old DH who is still lost and has no direction.  Do whatever you can to help him find his way.


    Answer by DeTora_Family at 12:49 PM on Apr. 25, 2009

  • Yes, at least in our experience it has been. It depends on what they are doing with their lives, I think.

    Answer by RunninRagged64 at 9:05 AM on Apr. 26, 2009

  • No, just different. Sons really want to be a "man" but they are really still man-wanna-bees. They are close to it but not yet. I would stop empowering him to be high maintainance. Learn to tell him no and stick to it. Make him stand on his own two feet. He will fail a few times, but those are the most wonderful learning experiences. If he doesn't pay his cell phone bill, to bad; if he doesn't have gas money, stay home; if he can't pay the car insurance, park it until you can. He will yell and scream, let him. There will be a time in his life when you will no longer be here to carry him. Who will maintain him then. Teach him to stand on his own.

    Answer by jesse123456 at 9:28 AM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • OOOhh Very discouraging!!!!! My oldest will be 19 on July 3rd.... I was hoping for a miraculous mental growth spurt!!!!

    Just kidding.. he's typical... but... it is a slow maturity process with boys!!!! I don't ever remember being such a dreamer!!!

    Answer by MOM628 at 2:45 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • Yes, I thought 19 was a bit better. Try to be patient, Mama!

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 2:42 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • No 18 is better because its when you feel like you are just old enough to do the things you want know without haven to ask!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer by Lilmama35555 at 9:49 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

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