Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I had postpartum depression, and it has all but ruined my relationship....support?

I moved in with BF after dating for years, when we had our daughter. (I already have a son as well, whose dad died many years ago.)
I had a difficult preg, with medical problems, which made living together stressful- not what we had always thought it would be. After I had my daughter(healthy)I went through what I now know was post-p depression. I didn't really know how bad I felt until I started to feel better when my daughter was six months old. It was a horrible time.I was totally dead inside, not motivated, felt panicky, and alone. My BF worked ALL the time, and when I needed him he felt smothered. I cried all the time which pushed him further away. I've since moved out so the kids were not around any arguing, but we're trying 2 saving the realtionship. I am hurt that he was not there 4 me, and he only sees me as the person I became post-p. I know we love eachother, and I am my strong self again. How can I help us move on

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:59 PM on Apr. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • If he loves you he should have been there for you, and tried to understand. Sometimes you have to makes guys understand what is wrong and what you need them to do.
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 1:02 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • Can you get him to read something on post partum depression? Maybe he would be more understanding if he knew how it works and what happens.
    Marwill

    Answer by Marwill at 1:02 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • get marital counseling at church
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • You sound so much like how I was after giving birth to my son last August, I was horrible, and had no idea that I had PPD, i thought that my DF was just being a complete a-hole and ruining our relationship, he didnt care, when really it was all me and while he did try, I dont blame him one bit for avoiding me and actually breaking things off, for a while too, yes it was hard on me, but I think it was even harder on him because he just didnt understand, weird thing is one day its like I just woke up, and felt how I felt before pregnancy (which also was very hard and stressful on me because I was high risk). And after that I did feel angry towards him because I felt like he should have done this or that but the fact of the matter is I wasnt myself at that time, I wasnt the person he fell in love with and while he still loved me, nothing he ever did was right and thats when he just stopped being there for me, so now I dont blame
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 1:44 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • him at all and I have realized that the only way things ever got better between us is to just simply move forward, the past is the past, niether of you were at your best you just have to accept that and move on if you want things to work, look at things fromhis point of view maybe he just didnt know how to handle you or your feelings, its hard for alot of people to do that. Give it time and like I said before forget about the past and just move forward, without holding any grudges. GL
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 1:50 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.