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What happened to my MIL?!?!?!?

I have always had a great relationship with MIL, but lately things have not been going well.

My husband returned from deployment last May, and is having some post deployment issues. It got to the point were I didnt really know what else to do, and he was contimplating suicide. I asked her to come up here for support for him. She was only here for a few days, and my husband didn't really open up to her like he has in the past (they have always been very close). Since then she has been cold to me. She never calls and doesn't answer when I call. I sent her pictures of her granddaughter and get messages back like, "Thank you for sharing your pictures with me. I appreciate it."
She called yesterday at my house and my mother was watching my dd and she told my mom that my husband and I never tell her anything about her GD, which is a lie. I always send video, pictures, and make sure I send her cards and pictures.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Apr. 23, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I would ignore her and focus on your husband, he needs your full and undevoted attention, you'll figure out MIL issues later. You have enough in your plate with DH focus on that, she is obviously not going to be of much help for whatever reason so it is up to you and DH to sort things out.

    Answer by bebita at 2:03 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • What have I done to make our relationship strained?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • You know, I doubt you have actually done anything. She is your husband's mother and she is probably worried about him. She may be feeling like blaming you even though it isn't your fault.

    On the other hand, my best friend had a good relationship with her mother in law until a few months after she and her husband were married. Now the woman acts like she is insane. One time she will be very nice to my bf, but the next time she treats her horribly. It has really put a strain on her marriage.

    My MIL has always treated me harshly. I am just used to it. I don't care what she thinks of me. I love her son and he loves me and we will be together whether she likes it or not.

    Get your husband some help, can't he see someone on the base for free? Or something. Some therapy would probably help him. He may need some medication as well. The sooner you get him the help he needs, the sooner everything will go back to normal with MIL.

    Answer by casperskitty at 2:04 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • show hub proof that you sent the pics and the commemt and see what he says

    Answer by debmom07 at 2:05 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • Who knows what "you did". (we all know YOU didn't do know that!)

    Concentrate on helping your husband. She very well could think you're somehow responsible for his trouble right now, or that you had her come up there and waste her time because now her son won't speak to her (and your were testing your brainwashing job)

    Who cares about her right now. Honestly, she's now worth it right now. Do what you know is right. when you send something to her, carbon copy your husband if he has his own email and his siblings, too....mass email to his side, so she can't say you aren't keeping her posted.

    But the main issue is your husband. Put her on the back burner for now.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 2:18 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • Thank you for all your answers. My husband is actually doing so much better. We got counseling for him for his deployment issues, and even went to marriage counseling to find out if some of the issues were because of our marriage. The councilor asked why we were there after the third session, so we are doing good there. For the first time since prior to the deployment, he is like his old self.
    I think she is more upset that she couldn't fix his problem. She never wanted him on medications, but he is doing much better now that he is on them. So, I think you ladies are right. I am just going to focus on him, and worry about the other later! Thank you so much!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:55 AM on Apr. 24, 2009