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I dont think my husband really loves me, what do you all think.

When I found out I was pregnant me and my now husband were only together a month. Now I am 7 months pregnant and dont think he really loves me. He has been looking for ways to not trust me, and says I am getting more distance from him. But he is the one that is getting more distance, when he comes home from work all he does is gets on the comp or play his xbox. He used to talk to my belly, kiss it and rub it, but now that is rare, maybe once a week. I am really thinking he doesn't love me, and he only says that because of the baby. The thing is I really do love him, but if doesnt love me I dont want to hold him down, Idk, it hurts me just thinking, what if I was never pregnant would he still be with me? I know we would not be married, he wanted to get married so I am cover by his insurance and didnt have to go on state, also to make giving the baby his last name a lot easier. What should i do?

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HuntersMama09

Asked by HuntersMama09 at 2:07 PM on Apr. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • It could be possible that as your due date nears he's freaking out. Although getting married simply because you're pregnant is a BAD idea. Been there done that and it turned out disatrously. (No t-shirt either). My suggestion, sit down and have a serious talk with him discuss where you're at as a couple and what it is he wants/needs/expects from YOU and vice versa.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 2:16 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • First of all, you can give your child whatever name you like without being married. You could name your kid luke skywalker. I do understand the insurance thing, but most insurances will allow two people living together to be under the same insurance as long as they are both single unless it's (military). Getting pregnant is NEVER a good reason to marry someone. My suggestion would be that both of you get to a therapist to talk over these issues.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 2:19 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • I agree with TheDiva320...you guys need to sit down and talk but always be prepared for the worst, that's what I do. Be prepared that he might just be with you just for the baby and try to deal with it so you can move on, if he tells you he loves you and wants to be with you then accept and believe him and work on your relationship. A baby coming will be an amazing experience for both of you. good luck
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 2:21 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • You two have only been together for 8 months? It will grow with time. He probalby just feels rushed into everything right now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • She's already married, so why would be telling her that getting married because she's pregnant isn't a good idea? Its not going to make a difference she is already married! So quit being rude, yes, thats what your being by telling her that. They obviously did what they felt was best for them.

    Anyways, you need to talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Reality may have hit him recently and he realized hey I'm a husband and a father all in a matter of 8 months. Thats not an easy reality to face sometimes. So talk to your husband about it. Talk about his feelings. Maybe he has realized that he doesn't love you, or maybe your hormones are getting the best of your making something out of nothing. Good luck! TALK TO HIM :)
    amy31308

    Answer by amy31308 at 2:29 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • The first year is always hard. Open up and tell him how you feel. There's no harm in just saying "I love you, but I feel like ___ when you play your games and don't talk to me." Or "I feel lonley b/c you don't do ___ anymore and it makes me feel like you don't love me." Be frank about it. Catch him when he's in a good mood and not playing his game or watching sports. Try after dinner when he's fed and happy. Don't say "we need to talk" b/c men will shut down as soon as they hear that. Try not to cry or get angry b/c men shut down with that too. Just try to stay as calm as you can and just tell him what's in your heart. I don't think it would hurt to get some couples therapy, marriage is hard. Try to remember that he's probably nervous about becoming a dad. Try to do fun stuff together to prepare for the baby. Get the room ready, 3D ultrasound. Good luck and congrats on the baby and getting married.
    dawn_misayo

    Answer by dawn_misayo at 3:22 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • You've only been together for a short time and the reality of family is being presented to your dh and quite frankly he may not be ready for everything that's in front of him...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:45 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • I'm in the same boat, except I knew him for about 1 1/2 months before getting knocked up. 4 years, 2 kids, 2 dogs, and a house later, I still wish I had never made the mistake of marrying him. Now I almost feel like I can't leave. I've been worn down for so long in a relationship that never should've been in the first place. I'm not saying leave him because everyone's different. I'm just saying don't waste too much time if it's not right. It's easy to get caught up in raising kids and your new life, and suddenly it's 4 yrs later. 4 years Monday to be exact.
    tonya993

    Answer by tonya993 at 12:56 AM on Apr. 24, 2009

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