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just read a question

about a man coming home from iraq and having problems(understandable)but my question is how come some men come home with no problems at all.are lifers in the service,and go to iraq a couple of times.well i think i know the answer but i was just wondering what the rest thought.

Answer Question

Asked by raineydays377 at 2:49 PM on Apr. 23, 2009 in Politics & Current Events

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Answers (14)
  • Different people, different coping mechanisms, different reasons for joining.

    Answer by chaster at 2:52 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • My uncle served in Vietnam at the same time as Senator John Kerry.

    My uncle STILL suffers from PTSD, and a host of other mental problems...he has failed to accomplish anything stable or noteworthy in his life.

    My uncle came from a loving, supportive, and middle income family. My uncles siblings all went to college, worked, got married, own homes, and have lead successful and productive uncle preferred drinking and doing drugs, and TO THIS DAY, uses Vietnam as the reason why he cannot "catch a break!"

    Some people prefer to blame others for their failures, others make the best of what life has to offer.

    Answer by LoriKeet at 2:55 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • Some have a remarkable ability to distance themselves from the brutal reality around them. They are able to "shut off" while doing their job.

    Answer by EireLass at 3:00 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • I have no idea, my husband's oldest brother is a Nam vet, he still wears some of his garb in case he ever runs into another vet out in public he'll be noticed. But he's close to 70 now and has done well with his life and his family. Very rarely does he talk about Nam, usually only to correct someone who is talking about it and has their facts wrong. He just always says " if you weren't there you would never understand".

    Answer by akinbottom2 at 3:00 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • I don't know. I have always wondered how much the society factors into it. Some people don't support our troops, or the war. Some support the troops, but not the war. Some support both. I have never been in the service and wouldn't know what emotional toll it takes on you when you are away. I think loss of fellow troops would definitely be a factor. Hearing these horrible things that other countries think of you, yet there you are building a school for their children or digging pits for toilets.

    Nothing comes without a price. Except a smile (I'm feeling a little goofy).  big smile mini


    Answer by QuinnMae at 3:14 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • ya good answers..just as i thought.i dont know if i would be able to separate my self but like akinbottom said if you werent there you wouldnt understand and i guess that is different for father was in korea and i think he like the comrodery(sp)he has his ships picture still up in the living room.but he was in the navy....

    Answer by raineydays377 at 3:18 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • Truthfully, I don't think that anyone comes home from Iraq with no problems at all. They may act like they have no problems, but everyone who has seen the horrors of war has been affected by it.

    My husband has been to Iraq 3 times for a total of 39 months. His job is directly combat, so he has seen and done it all. He's definitely been affected. He has anger issues, he gets freaked out by a sudden loud noise, etc. He reaches for his weapon, and when it's not there he gets upset.

    Other people I know cope differently, some drink a lot, some are addicted to gaming or porn, a LOT of marriages have more problems that would seem by outward appearances, and so many more.

    There are so many different factors in it that it makes it hard to pinpoint why others can deal with it, and find workable solutions and others cannot.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 3:25 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • I'm a Vet, and my dh is still on Active Duty. Even though I love him, and even though I'm a Vet of the same branch of service he's in, and even though he came home from Iraq and went right back into "normal life" with me and the kids and his military career (he's a lifer), I will never fully understand what he went through there.

    Honestly, not even other people who were there can fully get another persons experience, though they can do a better job of it than someone who wasn't.

    It's like a person who was raped. It will change you in some way, no matter what. But some can heal and move on more successfully /faster/ differently than someone else. It doesn't make the people involved better, nor does it mean that the one who copes better went through something less horrible than the other one. It just means they're different people whose minds work differently than each other.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:47 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • cont
    But, as a Veteran, as a wife of a "lifer" military man, as a person who has been sexually assaulted, and as a person who has worked with other military families and who has also been a peer counselor for other sexual abuse victims, if you or someone you love is struggling with PTSD of ANY sort (any sort of trauma can cause it, war, rape, seeing a murder, anything), I really really really hope you get professional help.

    Because, in spite of what movies and books want us to believe, this is not something "that the love of a good woman can make go away". Just like you would love them, and be there for them if they were to lose a limb, but you would want them to be treated by Drs, PTSD is the SAME thing. Love them, be there for them, but encourage them to get professional help - and you go, too, to learn how to help them.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:51 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

  • I don't think anyone comes home from was and is not affected in one way or another. Just because they don't tell you doesn't mean that they're not having issues. People handle things differently as well. I'm sure it also depends on what you've seen while over there.

    Answer by JackalsWife at 3:58 PM on Apr. 23, 2009

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